STEP PARENTS - Mother's day cafe

[jellyfishbubbles]

How are you? You doing OK today?

My stepkids just completely ignored it was mothers day this morning and have now gone to see their mum. I didn't even get a good morning or goodbye. No idea what's up with that. My LO made me a nice card.

It's a great thread. There will always be people who think stepmum are 2nd class citizens who aren't allowed to have any feelings. Don't let them ruin it for everyone else who appreciates how hard a job it can be and how important our roles are in our kids lives.

Kids can be thoughtless and forgetful but your OH really should have sorted something and encouraged the kids to.

For me, Mother's Day is also about my DH showing her appreciation for the role I play in our family as a stepmum and his acknowledgement of everything I do for my family. It's lovely if the kids acknowledge me too but ultimately I'm in this role because of DH.

DH has ASD and simply doesn't think about such things.

Ah well. I'm pulling up my big girl pants now and leaving it. I don't want to hang around these feelings of upset all day.

One thing being a SM gives you is a deeper perspective of life on MANY new levels!

Morning, I have my own DC and the SC go to their mum on Mother's Day but my DH did give me a card that they had written - probably under duress... but all the same, a nice gesture. I don't need, or want any more than that, I don't see them as my mum.

Will be going out for a lovely dinner at lunch with my own DC and our shared DC.

I am bio mum, my DC are with their dad this weekend but I'm going to pick them up in about an hour for the afternoon. I have a thank you card and bottle of wine to give to my exH's partner, as I want her to know how much I appreciate her loving my kids.
I understand how much of a hard time stepmothers often get, I feel that being The Ex-Wife is also a tough gig and I'll do anything to keep cultivating a positive connection with her, for the sake of my DC. And genuinely I am thankful - I have a partner but he had no kids himself so I've never experienced trying to forge a relationship with children who belong to someone else. I dont underestimate how challenging it must feel at times. Thank you step-mums, happy mothers day.

A million thank yous! You sound like a wonderful woman and the kids will benefit from having such understanding and supportive parents in their lives.

@Foxesandsquirrels they're children. They didn't ask for any of this, it's been thrust upon them. Basic manners and gratitude? Actually a very, very big ask.

I'm not even expecting gratitude. Didn't even get a morning from the eldest.

Basic manners really aren't a big ask.

Yep and are totally validated when the SM says she hates the feeling of when they come to visit and just wants 'her' home back. 💁🏽‍♀️

I have been in my SC lives for 10 years. Never once have they wished me happy Mother's Day because I'm not their mum.

But you're making it about Mother's Day. You're not their mother. One day, in the future, if things are really great between you, they might do something for you on Mother's Day. But, just by expecting this and complaining about it on the internet, that makes me think you're expecting far too much from them. Imagine your LO ends up having to stay part of their life with a step mum. How hard do you think that would be for them? Just stop thinking of yourself. They're kids, they need you to rise above them.

My step kids never did anything and I never would have expected them to (one lived with us full time). I'm not their mother.

Its like someone having a birthday and not even getting a "hello"

What they didnt even say hello?

Oh hi stepmum hate brigade! Thanks for coming and pissing all over a thread you could have easily ignored! I hope you have a wonderful day!

I did TRY to make it clear this was in the step parent bit

I work with a young lad and he told me he got both his Mum and his Step Mum a card. I thought that was really nice, how he acknowledged both.

Why are people telling me I'm not their mother like I'm under some illusion I am their mother?

I'm out with dsd, she has severe ld's so had no concept of date, time etc. we've had a lovely day. My dd1 has forgotten completely. Was wondering about deliberately wishing my mum happy Mother's Day on the family group chat to guilt her into remembering. Dd has asd so struggles to process many social niceties

I'm so sorry for all the step-mums who haven't been acknowledged today especially when you have a large involvement in their lives. 💐

People are forever on these boards bashing step-parents but it is normally from a place of bitterness so I just ignore it now

I am lucky to have a great relationship with my SK's and I know they love me, We went out for lunch last Sunday to celebrate and DH sorted a card from them otherwise they wouldn't not because I'm their step mum just because they're lazy... I text them yesterday (mums weekend) to check they had got something for their mum and they hadn't 🤦🏻‍♀️

It doesn't matter if they're kids or if they're 80. I'm shocked at how many people think it's ok to treat anyone like this, step parent or not. This is how kids end up treating their teachers and everyone else. Basic manners cost nothing. This behaviour is rude, it raises entitled kids and has got nothing to do with the situation they've been put it sorry.

I don't have step kids and never was one and this is just shocking to me sorry. A basic good morning costs nothing. Esp if they're with you full time.

In that case I'll ignore their birthdays as they didn't ask for me to get involved did they........

So silly

I've had a WhatsApp from my stepdaughter with a picture of her two children. She says 'Thank you for being such a fantastic Nan to these two! Also for all your encouragement and support for me too! This year the day completely crept up on me - sorry I didn't post a card.'