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Original poster

First midweek sleepover

40 replies

E1do · 20/12/2023 21:14

Hi all,

My 3 year old DSD is sleeping over for the first time tonight midweek! It means I will be doing the nursery run on my way to work.

I'm only 25 and no kids of my own yet so looking for some golden nuggets of advice on how to make the morning run as smooth as possible as I get myself and a 3 year old ready for work all while dealing with an 11 week old puppy too!!!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
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ErinAoife · 20/12/2023 21:25

Being her first time sleeping over, it will be nice if her dad accompany both of you to nursery in the first time to have a smooth transition.

Original poster
E1do · 20/12/2023 21:33

ErinAoife · 20/12/2023 21:25

Being her first time sleeping over, it will be nice if her dad accompany both of you to nursery in the first time to have a smooth transition.

Yes definitely! If time allows he will come with us, it's just I will struggle to drop him back in time and also get myself to work

OP posts:
namechangnancy · 20/12/2023 22:00

Prep nursery clothes night before.

Pack lunch or snacks ahead of time so you can grab the bag and go. Same for nursery bag check change of clothes is in there and nappies extra pants (depending if potty trained)

Best advice I got was plan your timings for everything to go to shit, so get up earlier than you think you need to is a good ballpark.

I say this respectfully as it's very kind you're taking your dsd to nursery but I hope it's a one off thing and not a now this is what you will do every thiursday. I say this as a lot of men do like to give the women folk the women chores and things like this should be a once in a blue moon type thing. If he handled it before you he will handle it after.

Take heed many women do this with lots of good intention and then get taken for granted that then a sp will always do it. Set the bar early and set it firm.

Good luck. Ps distraction 8/10 helps meltdowns, the more ridiculous the better

Xmasisoffsantahascovid · 20/12/2023 22:01

Make sure it isn't just you having added duties...

Whattodo112222 · 20/12/2023 22:03

I think dad should be taking her to nursery in all honesty. You'll be making a rod for your own back by agreeing and being happy to do her school runs, it won't stop there either.

Whattodo112222 · 20/12/2023 22:04

How long have you been in your partners child's life out of interest?

namechangnancy · 20/12/2023 22:05

Also a clue to if your current partner will take the piss depends on how easily and comfortably you feel you can say no to him.

If he will wheedles and guilt trips, blamed the ex, red fucking flag

NewNameNigel · 20/12/2023 22:05

Op, all you need to do is be kind to the girl.
Do not take on the mental load of logistics for getting her to nursery and her dad to work. Let him sort it out. If she's late that's on him.

PrimalOwl10 · 20/12/2023 22:05

If he can't take his own child to nursery the mother should be the one to do it.

Original poster
E1do · 20/12/2023 22:13

namechangnancy · 20/12/2023 22:00

Prep nursery clothes night before.

Pack lunch or snacks ahead of time so you can grab the bag and go. Same for nursery bag check change of clothes is in there and nappies extra pants (depending if potty trained)

Best advice I got was plan your timings for everything to go to shit, so get up earlier than you think you need to is a good ballpark.

I say this respectfully as it's very kind you're taking your dsd to nursery but I hope it's a one off thing and not a now this is what you will do every thiursday. I say this as a lot of men do like to give the women folk the women chores and things like this should be a once in a blue moon type thing. If he handled it before you he will handle it after.

Take heed many women do this with lots of good intention and then get taken for granted that then a sp will always do it. Set the bar early and set it firm.

Good luck. Ps distraction 8/10 helps meltdowns, the more ridiculous the better

Thanks so much for the advice!

This is just a one off I'm doing for her mum as she's going out for the evening so I offered. When my partner drives he will be in charge of any future nursery drop offs!

OP posts:
Original poster
E1do · 20/12/2023 22:13

Xmasisoffsantahascovid · 20/12/2023 22:01

Make sure it isn't just you having added duties...

Just a one off to help her mum out! :)

OP posts:
Original poster
E1do · 20/12/2023 22:15

Whattodo112222 · 20/12/2023 22:03

I think dad should be taking her to nursery in all honesty. You'll be making a rod for your own back by agreeing and being happy to do her school runs, it won't stop there either.

Just a one off to help her mum out :)

My partner doesn't drive so I offered, when he does, any school/nursery runs will be his responsibility.

OP posts:
momsybear · 20/12/2023 22:17

Get up early enough to give her a hug and wave goodbye before her dad takes her to nursery...

Don't become his wife work wench.

It's the first time! You shouldn't have to go this at all unless you're happy to and it's far to early to be volunteering. If this is his first midweek contact why? Is it cos he can't do the drop offs and needs you or cos this isn't "dad work"

Original poster
E1do · 20/12/2023 22:19

namechangnancy · 20/12/2023 22:05

Also a clue to if your current partner will take the piss depends on how easily and comfortably you feel you can say no to him.

If he will wheedles and guilt trips, blamed the ex, red fucking flag

Thanks! This wasn't his idea tho her mum was going out and asked if we could have her, I then offered to drop her to nursery to help

OP posts:
momsybear · 20/12/2023 22:19

Ps because it took a long time to write my reply.... It's possible to take kids to nursery on foot or public transport. Used to walk an hour a day to drop DD1 at nursery as a single non driving parent. Ask yourself what he'd do if he didn't have you

namechangnancy · 20/12/2023 22:21

@E1do pleased to hear it, that's a lovely thing to do for mum. If your walking (bring wellies) kids love to get two steps before nursery and step in a giant puddle and suddenly look like they have dragged through a hedge.

If long hair get it put up in a bun, ponytail, plaits so out of eyes. Also just saying you can never have to many snacks on your person with a small human.

Original poster
E1do · 20/12/2023 22:28

momsybear · 20/12/2023 22:19

Ps because it took a long time to write my reply.... It's possible to take kids to nursery on foot or public transport. Used to walk an hour a day to drop DD1 at nursery as a single non driving parent. Ask yourself what he'd do if he didn't have you

Absolutely! Her nursery is on the way to my work, so it's just makes sense but thanks :)

OP posts:
Original poster
E1do · 20/12/2023 22:31

namechangnancy · 20/12/2023 22:21

@E1do pleased to hear it, that's a lovely thing to do for mum. If your walking (bring wellies) kids love to get two steps before nursery and step in a giant puddle and suddenly look like they have dragged through a hedge.

If long hair get it put up in a bun, ponytail, plaits so out of eyes. Also just saying you can never have to many snacks on your person with a small human.

Thanks so much for this advice! Exactly the kind of thing I was after!

OP posts:
lunar1 · 20/12/2023 22:55

Why is it helping her mum out when it's on dad's time?

Original poster
E1do · 21/12/2023 00:02

lunar1 · 20/12/2023 22:55

Why is it helping her mum out when it's on dad's time?

Mum had plans so we were having her for the evening. I offered to drop her to nursery in the morning so she could have the whole evening off

OP posts:
Original poster
E1do · 21/12/2023 00:08

Whattodo112222 · 20/12/2023 22:04

How long have you been in your partners child's life out of interest?

Nearly two years

OP posts:
GKD · 21/12/2023 06:19

DH can get her ready.

can he not join you in the car to drop her off then make his way back home/work?

It’s not that I think you are incapable/blurring lines or anything, it’s just that I’m wondering what HE is doing to ensure HIS child gets to nursery.

I would hope he does all the care while she’s with you anyway.

SheilaFentiman · 21/12/2023 06:28

All the getting the bag and snacks ready, he can do. Seems like he could also do the getting his DD up and dressed part, and sorting her hair. The only bit he can’t do is the driving.

Captain Obvious question - you have the right car seat for her?

SheilaFentiman · 21/12/2023 06:29

And - separately - has he got a date booked for a driving test?

Youcannotbeseriousreally · 21/12/2023 07:39

As you are not her parent I would absolutely not start off being the taxi service. Your partner needs to be stepping up and doing this if he wants to have her overnight imo.