This is just advice and venting at the same time :
SD lives with us full time and there is no court agreement as not everyone wants to get the courts involved. BIO mom has been civil over the years but I notice a change due to being too comfortable with the arrangements these days she will find ways to not want to keep her she not even with her full time ?
. Example: The school break starts and bio mom only wants SD for 2 days but in a court setting she would had no choice to keep her for 2 weeks ) especially if she not the full time care giver my partner told her we take care of her full-time why are you not doing your share ? I told my partner already this is what happens when the Bio mom gets to comfortable you given her the opportunity to pick and choose how long she wants with her so yes we probably need to start being civil or get courts
We not trying to push SD on to her but bio mom is finding any excuse to not want to do her share especially knowing she lives with us full time and SD is confused telling her dad my mom only said I can spend 2 days
not everyone has step parenting easy especially when the other half is not doing there share of work load and then you get situations like me where the bio parents who gets to comfortable of someone taking care of their child and try to get involved at a minimum I do not think am being selfish to get bio mom do her role I know I can not force it but I am a mother who still needs her break just like any other step who needs a break from kids/step kids and when the step kids go to the other home yes it's a time for step parents to regenerate, clear their mind from a overwhelming role and get ready for the next scenario when step kids return