I don't know what to do, please help

[YesNoMaybeSo1234]

I have been with my DP for 5 years, I have one DD (age 11) and 2 SDD (10 and 8). Both SDD have ADHD and DP is autistic. Over the past year I have been struggling on and off to cope with my SDDs. I know and understand a lot of their behaviors stem to their diagnosis and I try so hard to help them, however I am increasingly finding it so hard and struggling to hide it anymore. The eldest SDD is beginning to have fall outs with my DD. My DD is amazing and is incredibly supportive of both SDDs, but she is also starting to show signs of struggles. My DP defends his daughters and says it's just the conditions, but it is so hard. I feel awful, but I really don't know how much longer I can cope.

Perhaps you leaving will make DP sort out the issues, get his DDs medication or at least his DM will step up.
I would look to leave as difficult DCs can become much more difficult teens - get a leaving plan underway.Warn DP once you are in a position to go, if things don’t improve ,go.

You need to sit him down and tell him that if the particular behaviour doesn’t stop immediately the relationship is over. Hopefully really making him understand that you are serious helps.

It won’t

'Some of you people will drive people to really deep MH issues.'

Like a mother who puts her own daughter behind her boyfriend will.

You think strangers on the internet are appalling because they’ve posted a few lines over 3 pages on a forum to a grown adult woman, but you’re not appalling for expecting your CHILD to put up with this living situation? Sounds rational.

Sadly op now definitely won’t be back

bugger all will be done

but the situation will get exponentially worse as the children become teenagers

Speaking from my experience as a step-child who was bullied by my step-siblings and my father did nothing about it, I feel qualified to tell you that you should leave. And it wasn’t as bad as what your DD is going through.

It's hardly surprising if she isn't back after the insults and rudeness.

I would never come here for support. Too many people gleefully sticking the boot in.

You don't help people see they're in a bad situation by being obnoxious.

If you don’t want to leave straight away then you need to sit him down and have a Frank conversation. Him going to bed and leaving you to manage all 3 kids isn’t acceptable. They are his kids to parent. I’d take your DD out for the day next time they come and leave him to it if he’s not prepared to step up. In what way do you think he couldn’t manage them alone?

Any why are you making it your problem if he cannot cope with the children he chose to bring into the world?