How to split paying for holidays…

[BetterWithPockets]

Posting here because am genuinely undecided about this. Have 2DSC and 1DC. We’re planning a trip away after Christmas and DH is assuming we’ll split all costs (flights, accommodation, meals out etc) 50:50. Part of me is fine with this — I married a man who already had children and they are my family too. But how do you finance things like this? What’s usual? Fair? DH and I earn roughly the same.

Hmm… we generally split things 50/50- he has 3 DC I have 2 (none together) but mine are here more often so we figure it works out. For a specific cost like flights I think we would each pay for our own kids.

He's a CF to expect you to pay for his kids but you alone to pay for your dog 🙄

Agree that you'll continue to pay for the dog by yourself, but of the 5 of you going, he should be paying for 3.5 of you and you 1.5 (I.E. he should be paying for 70% of the holiday costs including flights, accommodation, food etc) otherwise he is taking the piss.

So usually I wouldn’t pay for SDC holidays, not my responsibility ( I pay for my kids he pays for his in general life - we dont have any kids together) , in your case I would be asking him to pay more so you’d pay half for your dc and he’d pay for his kids.

I paid for our entire holiday this year though as he didn’t have any money , I knew I wouldnt have got away with not taking them too and I wanted to go. I wasn’t that happy about I thought and he will pay me back.

Do these kids go on holiday with their mum too? ( in our case that is also paid for by DH as he pays tonnes of maintenance and she doesn’t work!) so I wouldnt expect DH to make me fund them for ours!

I agree. What a brass neck to make you pay for the dog and everything for your joint child but expect half the costs for his children!

I'd be reviewing finances and making sure he pays for half of your joint child's expenses. There's no excuse for him to not do that. If he insists you pay for the dog, then I'd say the same goes for his children. He can't have it all his way!

On the holiday, if you’re paying towards his kids he should be paying towards your dog.

Holiday aside, how’s he getting away with not paying anything substantial towards your shared child?! That’s bullshit. I doubt if he was paying half of all that he possibly couldn’t afford a holiday. What message is this sending to your child? It’s awful!

He earns more than me so he pays for all children. If we were more equal I'd still expect him to pay significantly more.

If you have separate finances, then he’s clearly looking to have his cake and eat it here.

All the ‘but they’re family’ is just a way of hiding that. Especially since he only includes the things that benefit him and excludes your dog in the shared costs argument.

He's got 3 children. You have 1. The shared finances perspective would be you pay for yourself and half the (younger - which may mean cheaper!) child’s costs. (And the kennels costs). He pays for himself, half of the younger child and all of his older children’s costs.

What he wants is you to pay for one of his older children for him - but still treat the dog as your expense.

Thats not nice behaviour.

Posted on wrong thread 🤦🏻‍♀️