Looking for happy stories

[Libelula21]

I’m a widow with a child. Life’s hard sometimes, but ok, and actually the two of us have a nice life for now.

However, after 5 years widowed I feel ready to (maybe!) date again. But I’m wary of rocking our wee boat.

In my own limited experience, the blended families I know seem to be riven with problems of one kind or another.

I’d like to hear stories with happy outcomes to reassure me that step-parenting / step-siblinging can be a happy and positive thing.

OP, you can have a relationship but not live with a man and foist him and any children he may have on your child.
Don't do it.
It rarely works out.
Invariably the woman takes on the mental load of drudgery, whilst their child feels displaced.
You can have a relationship with a child free man, or one that you keep family life seperate from, particularly as your child rearing days are over.
Don't conflate a relationship with blended family life, the two can be mutually exclusive of each other.

Wise wise wise words! This is 💯 spot on.
I've lived this.

So have several widows I know.
They love their children far too much to add to the loss by adding another man to the house, not to mind strange kids.
They are far too cute to add the workload of extra children to their lives.

"Together but apart" works every time.

Blended families are invariably shit shows that sour a childhood.

The few i know of, have caused irrevocably damage to the parent/child relationship.

The child has become an adult, moved away, and never forgiven their parent for foisting strangers on them.

Not a chance in hell I would ever do it.

Completely unnecessary.
Keep your own home and your childs security.

I married a DH who has two children. One at the time was a teenager and lived locally with BM. The other was very young and lived on other side of the country but came every holiday. Of course DH was at work every day leaving me to entertain SS which I did happily as it was all part of the package. Fast forward ten years and little boy is out of control teenager (serious police trouble) and the teenager old has grown up to have 4 children all suffering neglect. Had to be surrogate parent to those kids with no help from social services and DH and ex covering for her behaviour. Had to give up job, pay for nearly everything to keep them and do all the usual domestic duties. All this has been met with no thanks (of course) and DH always siding with ex and SD and SS. My requests are ignored constantly and I'm the enemy. Can't live with SS as don't feel safe in the house so leave and stay with friends when he comes. DH happy to see me go. It's actually my house - I paid for nearly all of it so yes now I feel im being pushed out my own home. Things have come to a head now and I'm selling the house and getting a place I can feel safe in and not have to leave every few weeks.
DH of course is the victim now but I can't take any more.
As u said beigepjs...this relationship needs to be carried out from two homes. DH is hurt and fizzing but it's something I don't really have a choice about now. I don't want to be homeless even older as DH says SS can come anytime and it's up to him where he lives.
So when I read Ur post I thought...THIS🎯

@Beigepjsyou have hit the nail on the head with what I was feeling- it’s that your own children feel displaced. I couldn’t find the words to express it before. But that’s the feeling when you try to blend families.

that and foisting strangers on them. When you look at it from your own dc point of view you would never do it.

but at the same time it’s nice to hope for the best and want to live with the man you love, you would think.

Bloody hell. What a horror show.

Is your husband entitled to anything?
I hope not.

Kindly meant, but men with multiple children are the dregs, it is absolutely mad to go near them.
Having to deal with multiple women 🙄.

What a really sad thankless waste of your one precious life.
I am so glad you realise FINALLY, that you need to be away from these people.
Protect your retirement and whatever time you have left.
These low life's are not what you need in it.

My children are very sociable with lots of friends.
We have people stay every so often, family etc., and none of them particularly like visitors in their space!

So that alone is how I can really imagine children hating strangers foisted on them in their home.

I really admire both men and women who put their childrens right to a peaceful private home as a priority.