Am I unreasonable to expect step-children to share a room?

[Che5979]

Looking for some advice and whether I’m unreasonable in this situation.
My partner has two children, both girls aged 7 and 5 and we have another daughter on the way. We’re living in a 3 bedroom house so both children have their own room. I’ve approached the subject of his daughters sharing the bigger room and the baby getting the box room but my other half refuses. He says the baby will be a big change for the girls in itself let alone moving them into one room. I completely understand this and don’t expect it to happen until baby is 6 months to a year old to give the children time to adjust but he will not budge. I feel he is prioritising his other two daughters in this situation and can’t see the bigger picture.
For context moving somewhere bigger isn’t an option due to our financial situation, his children shared a bedroom at their mums house and we have them 4 nights/8 days every fortnight.

There are 3 children between two bedrooms. Two will clearly have to share.

Even if all dc lived with you 100% I'd still say the oldest two sharing would make most sense given the age gap. When our ds3 was 1, elder dc were 10 and 8. We kept the big two sharing and ds3 had the box room.

The child that lives there 100% of the time should take priority for their own room.

He'll soon change his mind about baby being in with you when she's talking to you at 3am!

I’d honestly leave this conversation for now and revisit it when your baby is a few months old; he will likely rethink it then. Right now he’s thinking about the two DC right in front of him but when he has 3 in front of him and the reality of sharing a bedroom with a baby for the forseeable he’s likely to rethink this. My DH was worried about getting DSD to share but once our DC was born he changed his view and I decided not to make it a big deal when it was months away when I was pregnant

So for ten nights the girls' rooms will be empty and the baby will be in with you full time? Not workable, he'll soon realise it.

Or he needs to find a bigger home.

Agree with a PP, leave it for now. Don't agree, but just "we can't agree, let's park this discussion for now". Once baby is here and you've got a cot in your room and a dresser for baby's clothes, he'll start to see how impractical it is.

Talk about buying a large cot that concerts into a corner and can he measure the bedroom to see of it fits. He'll realise soon enough he doesn't want to share long term

I think I'd be making it very clear that if his eldest sharing is not an option then he will have to come up with a workable plan very quickly or I'd be on my way to address my childs housing needs alone.
What alot of nonsense.

He doesn’t get that far, he says we need to wait till baby is here and it will figure itself out

We don’t have enough room for anything other than a cot.

He’s being ridiculous.

Your suggestion is entirely correct.

You’re not suggesting that the girls be told now, about something that won’t happen for 6 months to a year after the baby has arrived. He is being an absolute ostrich refusing to discuss a reasonable plan like an adult.

So unless he means he’s going to get a whacking great pay rise in the timeframe mentioned meaning you can buy a bigger house, the only way things “can work themselves out” is in the way you have suggested.

I think you leave it for a bit then go back to him and say that your baby deserves a nursery and a safe, quiet place to sleep and play. Obviously it's a big change for the girls so I would put it to him that it's best you start thinking now of how you can get them on board for example get them to work together on designing their new bedroom. That way you're not paying for two bedroom redecs at once. I'd tell him baby can stay with you both for the first 6 months but you need a plan so you're not leaving it to the last minute when you're on mat leave to buy what you will need .

You'll be keeping some of the baby's things in the larger bedroom then, won't you? Only place it can go. One way or another, the available space in his home is going to have to be shared between all of his children.

How will it? This makes no sense at all, the solution will be the same whether discussed now or later on. Just tell him you are not willing to wait until the baby is here to make a decision because it affects whether you're going to have to live elsewhere.

Why do people not discuss these things before getting pregnant...

Because sometimes you can have all the conversations in the world but when you’re actually in the situation things change. We had planned to move but fell pregnant quicker than expected and a change of jobs has meant our financial situation has led to us not being able to afford to move.

Babies things are currently in a set of drawers in the airing cupboard. We don’t have room for a changing station or a cot currently in our room so just have the Moses basket

If you don’t have room for a cot in your room where does he think baby will sleep? Baby will outgrow the Moses basket by 3 months max.

You're suggestions sounds the best.

He's understandably worried about his girls and the changes, so ImI wouldn't argue about this now. Wait until nearer the time, once baby is here he will see his idea doesn't make any sense.

Who's house is it? Why does he think he gets final say?

If they weren't your step kids would this even be an issue?

Indeed, no one would bat an eyelid if this were about bio children

He can have the sofa and dd can stay with you indefinitely tell him.

Can you have a chat with the girls and discuss how to make it work. They might suggest one of them shares with the baby and you could accept that but point out the baby will wake in the night and they would not be able to have legs etc out because the baby might eat it. They might come to the conclusion themselves they should share. If you can afford it, you could offer bunk beds or something to sweeten the deal.

I have a 7 and 4yo. They would quite like to share a room. We haven't let them as 4yo was difficult at going to bed until recently but I think they would be happy enough if we suggested it.

Is he planning on calling the child Harry Potter and making them sleep under the stairs, @Che5979? I could understand his point of view if he had a practical solution to the problem, but he is happy to be part of the problem!

Being practical, I’d suggest talking it over with your stepdaughters and seeing if they would prefer sharing with each other or sharing with the baby. You could offer to partition the bigger room so they’d each still have their own space.

So his daughters spend 4 days out of every 2 weeks with you, have I understood that right?

That would mean that your baby has no room whilst there are 2 empty bedrooms for 70% of the time. Ridiculous.

Ridiculous!! He’ll soon change his mind when you make it clear that there won’t be any intimacy with baby in the room or being woken up constantly!