What does CM actually cover?

[Dinoswearunderpants]

My DH has three other children aged 16, 13 and 10. He pays above what CMS have stated and does all the travel to collect them (90 miles round trip each way).

He also pays half of everything on top. School trips, hobbies, prom, transport to school.

We have a DS of our own and I'd say I pay 80% of costs associated with him. I earn more than DH so I don't mind paying more however there is of course some contusion with all these extras he pays.

I'm curious to know what exactly CM should cover and what other people do.

He pays 50/50 of the household bills and that counts as child maintenance according to CMS - so yes he is supporting your joint child. I’d be willing to bet their mum covers 80% of the cost of the 3 kids just as you’re covering it for yours.

Agreed, it isn't much. My DH was paying more than that 25 years ago for his 2 children.

It's not at all, it's just rare but how would they feel if they didn't have a place to sleep when they are here?

@Dinoswearunderpants your husband does not have primary care for those children , £480 a month for 3 children isn't a fortune, in your shoes I'd be pleased he takes financial care of them because that should indicate he will yours too.
He shouldn't keep having children if he can't afford them. Most people don't have 4.

You don't think it would be supremely shitty for an NRP to tell their 16 and 13 year old children that they no longer have space at their house?
Flying in the face of all the threads where SMs have been told they are wicked for wanting an empty room for their own child to use.
Damned if you do, damned if you don't. Nice.

There's no hard and fast rules about what it's meant to cover. And the CMSs 'one size fits all' approach actually fits no one.

@Backagain23 I think it's "supremely shitty" to move an hour away, barely see your own children and then begrudge paying for them.
He doesn't have the ongoing cost of feeding and housing his first three children nor the logistics of running around picking up and dropping off , facilitating hobbies, socialising, school etc because he hardly sees them. One out of three EOW. So let's not pretend that he does. The very least he can do is put his hand in his pocket without complaining about it. He's paying £160 a month per child.

@Milkkbottles current wife is though

I understand your frustration at paying 80% of your child's costs, but the original children were here first. Men shouldn't be having more babies if they cannot afford the ones the already have.

Bollocks to that. Not the oldest kids fault that siblings 2, 3 and 4 were born, not the youngests fault either. There are no "original children", they are all just his children.

That's alot of blathering to say "don't care if dad can house his children, he should just be giving the money to their mother as it only counts when it's her spending the money on them".
What a lot of crap.

@Backagain23 absolutely not, he should be pulling his weight fifty fifty as a father, caring for them, spending time with them all, supporting them , facilitating their education and extras curricular activities, building his relationship with them.
He very clearly isn't, so paying not even half towards their upkeep is the very least he should do and OP should stop complaining about it

@AngelAurora I think she's more interested in what he's paying for their joint child to be fair.

Just so.
Apparently the NRP doesn't have accomodation costs for the children and should simultaneously have them 50/50.
Wish I'd known it was ok for DSD to just have a sofabed in the living room, we could have saved £50k and just given it to her mother.

@Milkkbottles I've never said men shouldn't be equal parents, 50/50 residency won't always work for the child you can be involved in other ways, but eow for one and no/very rare overnight for the others is the other extreme.
Yes in an ideal world he should have enough space and accommodate them, but he doesn't does he, so their mother does 90-100% of the time and bears the cost and inconvenience, as I said I think he is doing the right thing paying CMS and towards extras because he doesn't seem to contribute much in any other way, whatever he paid or wouldn't make up for the fact that he isn't pulling his weight as a parent.

I'm also quite tired of seeing women on here getting into relationships with men who already have children and then begrudging those children, whether that's for time or money.

My ex doesn’t see Ds .. pays £7 a week . Ex mil messaged a few weeks ago to say how hard it was because the cms is requested on various dates so he doesn’t always have £. 30 .. I mean just buy less drugs was what I wanted to say but didn’t bother replying .