What does CM actually cover?

[Dinoswearunderpants]

My DH has three other children aged 16, 13 and 10. He pays above what CMS have stated and does all the travel to collect them (90 miles round trip each way).

He also pays half of everything on top. School trips, hobbies, prom, transport to school.

We have a DS of our own and I'd say I pay 80% of costs associated with him. I earn more than DH so I don't mind paying more however there is of course some contusion with all these extras he pays.

I'm curious to know what exactly CM should cover and what other people do.

It covers everything the other parent needs to pay and they don't need to pay any more legally so how the RP uses it is up to them and what they choose to buy with it is up to them there is no list. I get £7 a month for my children and thats to cover everything.

I feel for you, £7 is nothing. My DH pays £120pw. Again I know that's not a lot but it adds up so much. It's all the extra things that are causing an issue. He can never say no to anything else she asks for.

There's no legal obligation for him to cover half the cost of any extras or anything on top of the CMS amount.

Can you sit down and work out a fair division of joint bills & costs for your child (we do it proportional to income so I pay 55% and DH 45%) & then he can pay maintenance plus any extras from what he has left after meeting his fair share of the joint costs.

That's absolutely disgraceful. How can fathers be allowed to contribute so little towards the upkeep of their children? How on earth do you manage. I really feel for you.

he should be paying for all his kids. Don't let him fob you off from paying for your shared kid just because he had others. He should be having less disposable income he has more kids.

CMS is it. I think most people pay CMS plus half of school uniform and trips as a minimum. Often more.

Because they earn so little and can't claim the child benefits

DS’s dad gives me the minimum amount as calculated by CMS but also covers half of extra curricular activities and school uniform. Which I think is fair enough. He earns OK but has to still pay his own bills.

I've started doing what ex does and telling DH what our children need and laying out what I expect him to pay for.
We fell into the trap of leaving the joint kids to me to pay for while the ex had DH to share costs with. Total joke and I'm angry at myself for tolerating it.
If he can't afford to provide fairly for your joint child then he can't afford all the bells and whistles for the older ones, end of story.
Maintenance is for whatever the RP says it's for.

He’s not earning he is on benefits but getting cash in hand just can’t prove that bit…. He also doesn’t see the children so no he wouldn’t be entitled to any benefits for them?

>what does CM actually cover?

Not very much. Part of what it pays for is their accommodation. A single person needs 1 bedroom. Someone with 3 kids needs more. CM never covers even half the difference between the cost of a 1 bed and a 3/4 bed place.

Even this isn't cut and dried as an involved NRP also has accomodation costs for the child/ren.

The minimum requirement of CMS is very low and certainly not enough to meet living costs of raising children. Although of course this does vary depending on how much the non resident parent earns.

My DC's father pays the amount stated by CMS. I had to go via CMS as he 'offered' a lot less than that. The last three payments have been significantly late so it looks like I will now have to request CMS collect the funds straight from his salary.

He refuses to pay anything else other than the legal requirement - all requests for school uniform (so expensive!), school residentials etc have been declined. Apparently he pays "more than enough already." I'm going to stop asking as I'm finding it degrading. Legally, he doesn't have to. Morally? Different story!

Legally olas others have said CMS is all that is due and covered everything bar the NRP costs when with them.

However, given what he is paying is a reasonable contribution...

I would look at it that CMS covers his contribution to their housing, food, general clothes (assuming they bring things with them to your house) day to day transport (yes Inc to school). All of these things should be provided for your shared child through you shared household pot.

The extras however I think DH needs to consider that his available cash here needs splitting between his 4 children... not just 3. Bearing in mind a baby will cost less than a 16yr old (if not in nursery full time !!) But a primary schooler will be pretty consistent 5-11 perhaps.

He needs to be contributing fairly to the shared child and if that means he has to share his money money evenly so be it.

As someone suggested I'd put the shared child costs to him for payment the same way the other kids mum dies and see how he reacts...

Not talking about that specific case that is fraudulent imo and should be a criminal offence. But there are SOME NRPs who cannot work so cannot pay.

If you're paying more in the joint account you are also paying for his kid while they are under your roof.

He's got it made!

£120 per week for 3 pre/teen children
£6240 per annum
£2080 per child per annum

If you start costing out his share of basics: eg trainers £40, football boots £40, school shoes £40 and one more spare pair £40. His share is £80 already!
It disappears faster than you would think

Maybe you should ask your DH to give you £40 per week for your child and then they all get the same.

Thanks for everyone's input.

I know he would never consider reducing what he pays and that's up to him. He knows I don't financially rely on him however his ex does.

I was just curious to understand what it should cover.

I was just curious to understand what it should cover.

There's no specifics as to what maintenance should cover. It would be impossible because it's not a set amount. It's a percentage contribution to the child's lifestyle.

So for some it'll cover 50% of everything with the RP doing the other 50%. In some cases it'll be 75%/25% depending on the respective parents incomes.

It's a contribution to all of the everyday living costs. How far it goes depends on the child's circumstances generally.

£120 isn’t a huge amount for 3 child is it?

Thats £480 a month, to cover half the costs of 3 children? I’m not sure that covers half the cost of their food, clothing, extra rent for bedrooms, extra utilities, travel, day to day stuff, etc. That’s £160 per child per month
As a comparison our 1 child easily costs that per month in just food tbh, as our food has easily gone up £40 a week since he was born - in food shop, buying odd ice cream out, food out and about.

Big ticket items like a new bed or bike would wipe out months of CM

@Caspianberg But, the non-resident parent still has a lot of those costs in their own home; extra rooms, beds etc. It isn’t supposed to cover half of everything at RP’s house and then NRP has to pay another 100% at their own. It’s designed to try and provide for the difference in time spent between two homes.
depending on the circumstances and how often they are with OP, £460 could well cover half of the RP’s additional costs

@2ndtry - it doesn’t sound like op husband has the children though? They live with other parent full time. So he doesn’t need an extra 2-3 bedrooms full time. And presumably can work full time as has partner at home to care for other child, we’re as ex partner can’t leave children 7am-7pm for full time long commute and work

If he's going 90 miles round trip to collect them, I'd hope it wasn't just for a few hours during the day.
If he does have them overnight then a blow up in the living room isn't going to be sufficient for 3 teens, and he and the OP would be called all of the names for suggesting they didn't need proper beds. Pushed out/wicked SM/deadbeat Dad blah blah.

It's none of your concern what he pays for his kids, you knew the score when you got with him.

OP probably thought "oh great, I see a dad who's providing for his kids, I bet if I had a child with him he will provide for that child too".
Only to find out that he's happy to leave providing for that child to her.