Holidays

[Lunab18]

Looking for other peoples advice/experiences of holidays.
I have two DC who live with me & DP and they have always been fortunate to have a holiday abroad each year (DP only moved in last year so holidays were with me alone or me & ex DH).
My DP has two DC who live with their mum and they have not had holidays abroad before.
My DP has said he thinks we should only go abroad if we can take all four children as it wouldn’t be fair on his children if we only take mine.
I’ve said we can’t afford to take all four abroad but I can continue to afford to take my two.
DP has said he’s happy for me to take my two DC abroad without him and he’ll stay at home.
I’ve tried explaining that I feel responsible for taking my DC on holiday as they live with me and although I’d love for all four kids to go away together with us we just can’t afford it.

Has anyone got any advice or thoughts on what to do? Thanks

Maybe the DP prioritises other things for his DCs above foreign holidays so they will never go together, and that's ok too.

He's 100% right. His children should not be left out, particularly if they're not even getting an abroad holiday with their mother.

Good on him really, and I hope the financial situation improves so he can take his kids on holiday. If that happens it needs to be whatever holiday he likes- no tweaking it to work better for your kids.

That is such a horrible and mean spirited post.

To me, a blended family is family.

I would go abroad every other year and take all the children.

This is fine. Unless his tone is shitty, then saying you go and he’ll stay home is the reasonable solution.

Your children shouldn’t have to lose out because his financial situation is different to yours.

Yeah I agree with this.
Hopefully in the future you will all get to go away together, but it's not on you to pay for your stepchildren. As you say, would be nice if you could afford it and felt able to, but you can't. I think this is entirely reasonable.
He can spend the time with his kids too and maybe do some fun stuff with them while you're away, they might quite enjoy the time just the three of them.

Can't really see the issue? He's said he's happy not to go.

You pay for your kids. He pays for his. If he can’t afford to that’s on him. Your kids shouldn’t miss out because of your choice in partner

Has anyone got any advice or thoughts on what to do

Im not sure why you are asking on here when your dp has already came up with the solution

I disagree with this OP.

Your children should not have to miss out because you chose to "blend families".

If you want to take them and can afford to take them then take them. Leave him at home that's fine, I understand why he feels like he can't go.

I have shared DC with my husband and I still holiday alone with them sometimes if we can't afford a full family holiday Inc DSC and DH stays at home. My children won't be missing out on anything because their dad has older children and yours definitely shouldn't considering he's not even their dad and they aren't their siblings.

I’m another one who doesn’t see the problem to be honest, your partner sounds perfectly reasonable to me; don’t make an issue out of nothing OP.

dh and I both have children of our own but none together. We do:
Short holidays for me and DH alone, no kids
UK holidays, me and DH and all our kids
Holidays abroad, me and my DCs only.
DH chooses not to take his own DCs away just him but of course could, there’s no issue. And they holiday with their mum too - mine don’t see their dad so I am the only one who takes them away.
we have talked about a possible holiday with just one each of our children but it relates to a specific interest. We agreed years ago neither of us would go on a holiday together but without our own DCs.