There is a 7 year age gap between DD and DSC, before DD was born we went to safari Park a lot with DSC and also they have been loads with mum (safari Park is relatively close). Since DD had come along we have done family days out to themeparks, family holidays etc.
Due to the cost of living, we no longer have much extra cash for expensive days out, so now tend to do different parks, with a picnic, again as a family.
I really want to take DD to safari park and would love a day out just me, DH and DD as we haven't actually done this as of yet. As DD isn't at school yet we can go on the week when it is cheaper and she is free, plus isn't old enough to go on the rides, again saving money. DH is happy to do this and said he will book a day of work. Obviously we won't tell DSC as they do not need to know, and mum has always said she's happy for us to do things without him, as long as we don't tell him.
However, MIL is not happy, she has told us its not fair, we are leaving DSC out and if they can't go then we shouldn't go at all. She has said that if we do go without DSC then she will make a point of taking DSC out on their own in the future and not take DD.
Now we have no problem at all if she took DSC out on their own as DSC adores nan and doesn't get to see her that often, but what she has said has made me question if we are being unfair not taking them both and if we should just wait until we have money to take both children.
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Taking both children to safari park
MESHWIASH · 08/05/2023 12:03
tribpot · 08/05/2023 12:48
It's DH's decision, as the parent of all the children involved. He's fine with it (as he should be), it's got bog all to do with MIL. Especially as DSC's mum would be fine with it too.
There is the risk that DD tells DSS when she next sees him, so that's something to consider? However, you could maybe tell him that there was an event on for pre-schoolers and he would have found it too babyish if he seems upset about it.
funinthesun19 · 08/05/2023 12:37
There’s nothing wrong with you taking your DC on trips out while the DSS is elsewhere. Absolutely nothing wrong at all.
Your MIL is being a nasty manipulative bitch and she is doing your DSC no favours by threatening to basically put a divide between the children. There’s nothing wrong with you taking just DC out (your DC is little and not in school, and DSC isn’t always with you), but what she is threatening to do is hurtful and unnecessary.
Some paternal grandmas have this weird obsession with their son’s children from his first marriage. Your MIL sounds like one of them. My ex MIL was obsessed with my exdsc too.
elevenplusdilemma · 08/05/2023 12:45
A reasonable question to ask is would you do the same if both children were your own? Would you take a younger DC on a big day out when the older one was spending the day at school?
If the answer is yes, then carry on. If the answer is no, then don't do it as it would be unfair to treat DSC differently.
MESHWIASH · 08/05/2023 12:54
She is more DSS the DD, she says its because she doesn't see him, but she sees them both the same amount. I think it's just more she (openly states) prefers boys to girls 🤷♀️
funinthesun19 · 08/05/2023 12:37
There’s nothing wrong with you taking your DC on trips out while the DSS is elsewhere. Absolutely nothing wrong at all.
Your MIL is being a nasty manipulative bitch and she is doing your DSC no favours by threatening to basically put a divide between the children. There’s nothing wrong with you taking just DC out (your DC is little and not in school, and DSC isn’t always with you), but what she is threatening to do is hurtful and unnecessary.
Some paternal grandmas have this weird obsession with their son’s children from his first marriage. Your MIL sounds like one of them. My ex MIL was obsessed with my exdsc too.
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