AIBU - (stepmums only please)

[h2403]

Would you be annoyed if your MIL commented things like "beautiful" & "wonderful mum" on sdd's mums facebook.

The same MIL who constantly slags off sdd's mum btw.

Just feels very insensitive. The comments are not needed. Of course she should have a good relationship with her granddaughters mum but those comments... when her son has remarried... traitor behaviour?

If she talks about her behind her back, it's fake. As is 99% of social media. Let her get on with it.

It shows her for what she is - two-faced.

Posted too soon - meant to add, let her get on with it and don’t get involved. It would just make me more wary of her and I’d be less inclined to spend time with her.

There’s nothing wrong with the comments, the woman is her granddaughter’s mother. It would be better if she genuinely liked her, but still.

It’s absolutely nuts to call it traitor behaviour

I am a step mother BTW

MIL is two faced and so I wouldn’t trust her, but no issue with thinking the ex is a good mum. My partner’s ex is a good mum, she ain’t ugly either and my in laws have a lovely relationship with her. As they should, she’s mother to their grandchild.

Thing is, her being a good mum, pleasant to look at etc doesn’t take anything away from me. I’m alright myself 😂 something is percolating that’s leading you to feel insecure, and that’s certainly worth exploring, but this is a non issue.

Anyone else not get the traitor element here ?

Just from my weird brain, if ml is two faced why would you want her on your side. Not that there should be teams.

I suspect honestly though op feels insecure with Ml but doesn't know why so is aiming this at mum. Who isn't the person she should be looking at !

Actually I'm in the same situation but not just MIL but everyone in the family.

My DH and his ex have a very bad past, they really hate each other and the family always make comments that she is so mean and that she's cruel etc.
But on social media they like everything that she posts and they comment very nice things on her posts so I feel you. It makes me feel very uncomfortable because they know what she made my DH went through and are very open about it on family reunions but on social media is another story.

I talked to my DH and told him that I don't like when his family brings her up to the conversations (they say things like: oh did you see that her sister has a new boyfriend? Did you see that she has a new job? Did you what her husband posted?) It's pretty annoying so I ended up deleting her from Facebook, she added me and I thought that she wanted to be friends with me but every time she dropped her daughter with us she wouldn't even look at me or acknowledge that I was even in the same room.
My advice would be to talk to your partner about what bothers you and why.