Page 2 | Stepson sent me a ‘Mum’ message

Rossisfinee · 2023-03-31T12:17:23+00:00

Been stepparent to my DSS for 3 years. The moment he sees me he talks and talks which I love as shows he’s comfortable and excited to share his life with me. Sometimes he will go “oh remember this?” but he is referencing an event years before I met him but I take it a compliment that it feels to him I’ve always been around. The other day he randomly text me a ‘Mum quote’. Those types start “thank you for everything Mum” that you see on Facebook. I was so touched. 🥺 That’s all. Just really made me feel I must be doing something right. Please feel free to share your fuzzy stories! 🧡

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NewMum0305 · 31/03/2023 20:15

That’s wonderful OP. My stepson went through a period of really struggling to get to sleep at our house, due to anxiety about the pandemic and Ukraine. We got into the habit of me and him having a chat before bed as part of his routine so his dad would read to him and then he would ask me to come up and we would just chat about anything for 10 mins and then he settled to sleep fine.

He doesn’t need it anymore and can go straight to bed after a book now but it was lovely while it lasted, especially knowing I was helping even a little with his anxiety at night x

Newuser82 · 31/03/2023 20:26

@Rossisfinee ah you sound so lovely. He is obviously very lucky to have you!

Senorfrijoles · 31/03/2023 20:46

Rossisfinee · 31/03/2023 14:45

😭. I feel for you. I got flowers too. I cried and prob always will. 😂 I suffer recurrent miscarriage so the fact I’m thought of on Mother’s Day really tugs the heart strings as I’ll never be a ‘proper Mum’

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OP- My stepmum has been in my life since I was 4 (now in my 40s). I think of her as a mother, certainly an equal to my two biological parents. There was a time when she and my Dad split up and when I went back home to visit I stayed with her (over either of my parents). I love all my parents but my relationship with my mother was strained for many years, although repairing now. My Dad loves me but can be quite distant. In many ways she has been my most stable parent.

She once told me she loved me as if I were her own child. I told her "I am your child".

TLDR I really love my step mum, she's wonderful. Big love to all the step parents out there doing their best for their step kids.

anxiouslemons · 31/03/2023 21:23

Dsd couldn't find her phone the other day so asked me to ring it. It was squashed down the side of the sofa and when I picked it up it said 'Mum No2' calling 🥹. The pre-teen years weren't easy but it's getting there ❤️

DebussytoaDiscoBeat · 01/04/2023 03:46

Love hearing these positive stories, thanks for starting the thread OP.

I went through a really tough time for a couple of years with my DSC while they were young teenagers but they are all adults now and we get on well. I received Mother’s Day cards from all of them this year thanking me for all I do, I cried

ghlily · 01/04/2023 03:56

This is such a lovely thing to read. You must be a really really wonderful person, showing your DSS a lot of love.

Aquamarine1029 · 01/04/2023 04:04

Reading this has made me so happy. Your stepson is so lucky to have you, and it's just the sweetest thing to read how he expresses how he feels about you.

Illstartexercisingtomorrow · 01/04/2023 06:08

This is such a nice thread to read. Thanks for starting it OP.

Imnoonesfool · 01/04/2023 06:56

Aww 🥰
My DSS (25) and I have a really lovely relationship. The first few years were tough for both of us figuring out how we fitted together (he was 5 when I met his Dad).
i remember receiving a mothers day card from him in his teens which he’d written how I mean so much to him and he will forever be grateful to me etc …. Cried my eyes out.

It’s also been so helpful to our relationship that his mum is so supportive of me.

my DH recently said how me and his ex have been brilliant co parents 😂

RockCrushesLizard · 01/04/2023 08:31

Never underestimate how much a good step parent is another parent.

My stepdad has been in my life since I was seven and in every meaningful way is my dad (despite my dad not being absent).

Dropped me off at uni, looked after my kids when I was giving birth to the others, all the big and tiny moments, he's been there. He's the most involved amazing grandparent. My life is so much richer for him being in it.

Sounds like you're being the extra parent this boy needs - amazing x

LittleEsme · 01/04/2023 09:45

I'm so proud of my DSM - known her since she was a young teen and now, in her 30's and herself a Mum. I'm included in the 'grandparents' package which makes me feel so humble and appreciated. She's a beautiful person inside and out. I'd do anything for her. She's close with her birth Mum - she's a lovely person too.

I have a good role model in my own Stepmum. She's incredible and has been my rock for nearly 40 years. My own Mum has been troubled by addictions all her life and is very absent in my family as a result. My DSM taught me kindness and understanding. Frankly, I don't know if I'd still be here if it wasn't for her.

Thank you OP for opening up the chance for me to say this. I feel warm inside knowing that there is so much love and care being shown to our children. It isn't always an easy path to tread, that we all know.

Original poster

Rossisfinee · 01/04/2023 10:06

Thelifeofawife · 31/03/2023 18:32

This is lovely!

My DSD is very talkative with me too. She will chat and tell me things she doesn’t tell her dad.

She talks about life before me, but I can only assume that it’s other people talking about it keeping it in her mind, as she would be too young to remember some things.

I recall the first time she referred to me as mum, and then said she has 2 mums. It was lovely. (Though as a general rule she calls me by my name)

Sorry to hear about your miscarriages, but it sounds like you’re being a “proper mum” with your DSC - they clearly feel that you are 💐

That’s adorable. I really do love to hear that. I’m so happy for you.

R.e. the mc. I love my DSC equally however with the DSS that never stops talking, it’s a bit soppy but I feel he’s the son I never had. Like a gift from God if I believed in God 😂. We are quite alike in personality, and he looks like me - people have commented on it and relative strangers assume he’s mine - even when I’ve mentioned he’s my DSC the next time they see me they ask how ‘my lad’ is! And also because he treats me like a parent e.g. cheeky jokes and acts with me the same as his Mum/Dad.

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Original poster

Rossisfinee · 01/04/2023 10:13

NewMum0305 · 31/03/2023 20:15

That’s wonderful OP. My stepson went through a period of really struggling to get to sleep at our house, due to anxiety about the pandemic and Ukraine. We got into the habit of me and him having a chat before bed as part of his routine so his dad would read to him and then he would ask me to come up and we would just chat about anything for 10 mins and then he settled to sleep fine.

He doesn’t need it anymore and can go straight to bed after a book now but it was lovely while it lasted, especially knowing I was helping even a little with his anxiety at night x

That’s a lovely thing to do 🧡

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Original poster

Rossisfinee · 01/04/2023 10:16

DebussytoaDiscoBeat · 01/04/2023 03:46

Love hearing these positive stories, thanks for starting the thread OP.

I went through a really tough time for a couple of years with my DSC while they were young teenagers but they are all adults now and we get on well. I received Mother’s Day cards from all of them this year thanking me for all I do, I cried

I’m so glad for you. It’s not all easy! For me it wasn’t instant love I think that’s an unhealthy expectation put on stepparents. But recently I’m at the point of delusion I think bio parents are where they think everything their DC do and say is amazing 🤣

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Original poster

Rossisfinee · 01/04/2023 10:19

LittleEsme · 01/04/2023 09:45

I'm so proud of my DSM - known her since she was a young teen and now, in her 30's and herself a Mum. I'm included in the 'grandparents' package which makes me feel so humble and appreciated. She's a beautiful person inside and out. I'd do anything for her. She's close with her birth Mum - she's a lovely person too.

I have a good role model in my own Stepmum. She's incredible and has been my rock for nearly 40 years. My own Mum has been troubled by addictions all her life and is very absent in my family as a result. My DSM taught me kindness and understanding. Frankly, I don't know if I'd still be here if it wasn't for her.

Thank you OP for opening up the chance for me to say this. I feel warm inside knowing that there is so much love and care being shown to our children. It isn't always an easy path to tread, that we all know.

I’m sorry about your Mum and I’m so glad you found something great in your stepMum. She sounds lovely. I think it’s easy to bond with your bio family (it’s nature) but to build a bond when you’re not related is something really beautiful. This thread is making me very emotional!

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golddustwomen · 01/04/2023 10:22

This is lovely op!
I love my step mom, I'd be lost without her! She gets treated the same as my mom on Mother's Day and she's my children's favourite nan!

gogohmm · 01/04/2023 10:37

There's far more to being a mum than biology. Your stepchild is very lucky to have so many adults who love him. Sounds like you are amicable with his mum too, lucky boy - it can be a great set up for children when all the adults get along.

IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 01/04/2023 10:40

That is a lovely post @Rossisfinee. DM was a step mum before she became a mum. We all grew up together,. It's only now my own children are in their teens that I realise how delicate the line of nurture/care/not overstepping tyr

Jellyheadbang · 01/04/2023 11:14

Rossisfinee · 31/03/2023 13:21

It really did! He is 11 and I was really surprised at the bond given he was an ‘older’ kid when we met.

He sounds lush, bless him

Original poster

Rossisfinee · 08/04/2023 19:42

Just wanted to update you all with some happy news… My partner proposed this weekend (total shock) and I’m so happy that the kids will be ‘officially’ family. 🥲

Thanks again for all your lovely responses.

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HVPRN · 08/04/2023 19:43

Oh my days 😍😍😍 that is such lovely news to hear! Congratulations 🎉😃

hourbyhour101 · 08/04/2023 19:44

Rossisfinee · 08/04/2023 19:42

Just wanted to update you all with some happy news… My partner proposed this weekend (total shock) and I’m so happy that the kids will be ‘officially’ family. 🥲

Thanks again for all your lovely responses.

Ekkkkppp congratulations 🎉 I'm so happy !! This thread is amazing ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Thelifeofawife · 08/04/2023 21:14

That’s lovely OP, huge congratulations 🥳❤️

Original poster

Rossisfinee · 09/04/2023 06:13

Thanks everyone for your lovely messages. The ultimate cliche but really can’t believe it 😂😍

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Gonegrey31 · 09/04/2023 06:32

Wonderful news I’m so happy for you !