Page 2 | Does this piss anyone else off

doesthis · 2023-03-21T19:00:26+00:00

Name change for this My DH bends over backwards to fit in around his exs life and her job when it come to caring for his children with her. But when it comes to our 1yo shared child he barely lifts a finger, I asked if he could look after her for a couple of hours (while he had DSC) and he went on like I'd asked him for the world. And before anyone jumps down my throat he sees them 50/50 and sometimes more

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Original poster

doesthis · 21/03/2023 21:59

@Laurdo
He absolutely has guilt problems
He left her for someone else and he was absolutely wracked with guilt, guilty about leaving his family. His ex at first withdrew contact with his children but eventually relented. The divorce was amicable because he gave her everything she wanted, house, cars, money... all settled out of court.
she has remarried herself and she too has a toddler.
Yet the status quo is still the same as it was. Everything to suit her. I suppose I understand why it happened but everyone has moved on now, maybe apart from him, he definitely needs therapy to deal with his guilt

OP posts:

Laurdo · 21/03/2023 22:13

doesthis · 21/03/2023 21:59

@Laurdo
He absolutely has guilt problems
He left her for someone else and he was absolutely wracked with guilt, guilty about leaving his family. His ex at first withdrew contact with his children but eventually relented. The divorce was amicable because he gave her everything she wanted, house, cars, money... all settled out of court.
she has remarried herself and she too has a toddler.
Yet the status quo is still the same as it was. Everything to suit her. I suppose I understand why it happened but everyone has moved on now, maybe apart from him, he definitely needs therapy to deal with his guilt

Yeah he absolutely needs to move on from this or he's going to end up with the added guilt of another failed relationship.

AnneLovesGilbert · 21/03/2023 22:21

he gets so over the top and shouts, storms out rooms and slams doors etc

You know this is completely unacceptable. Do the children see him being aggressive and abusive?

piedbeauty · 21/03/2023 22:28

he gets so over the top and shouts, storms out rooms and slams doors etc

And he puts you last, ignores your dc - what is the point of being married to him or with him??? He sounds really shit.

familyissues12345 · 22/03/2023 08:32

doesthis · 21/03/2023 21:59

@Laurdo
He absolutely has guilt problems
He left her for someone else and he was absolutely wracked with guilt, guilty about leaving his family. His ex at first withdrew contact with his children but eventually relented. The divorce was amicable because he gave her everything she wanted, house, cars, money... all settled out of court.
she has remarried herself and she too has a toddler.
Yet the status quo is still the same as it was. Everything to suit her. I suppose I understand why it happened but everyone has moved on now, maybe apart from him, he definitely needs therapy to deal with his guilt

I think you've hit the nail on the head, it's the guilt, and the fact he's probably desperate for your SC to be happy with him as she withheld contact for a while too.

Doesn't excuse him not looking after your joint little one too though! That is weird. Surely he can see that if he does more with them all together they will grow up with a lovely bond too, and you deserve a break...

FeelingSoSad2 · 25/03/2023 15:55

Coffeepot72 · 21/03/2023 19:04

A lot of men inexplicably prefer to p*ss off the new wife in pursuit of keeping the ex wife happy. Particularly when children are involved

This.
I went through this too.
Tell him that if he doesnt get involved, he will be taking care of her 50/50 too.