What age to consider relocating?

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I am a stepmum to a 10 year old.

We have 50/50 contact.

We currently live close enough to SD's mum that there is no issue with picking up SD from school etc. We live 3 miles away in the same big city.

DH is truly miserable living where we do. I also am not happy here. For many many reasons (financial, lifestyle, community etc) we would prefer to live somewhere more rural. If SD lived with us fulltime, we would have moved already.

SDs mum is unlikely to move, as she has low cost accomodation in a nice part of the city. So we are basically stuck living a harder life to be near where SD mum wants to be.

I have already accepted that we need to be here, as it is the only way to maintain the 50:50 arrangement. I was abandoned by a parent and would not inflict that on a child.

But in the long term, what age would SD need to be before we considered living a few hours away from her mum by train?

Has anyone moved away from where the ex lives when a stepchild was older, and when?

Would it be once she was living independantly? At uni or otherwise?

Is there any reason it has to be two hours away? I'd wait until 18 to move that far away, but you could move somewhere maybe an hour away now. Would that be a compromise?

Once your SD learns to drive, you can safely assume she will make the choice to live in one household most if not all of the time. When young people get their own transport, you don't see them for dust. The 50/50 care arrangement gives them stability during their childhood so they have a relationship with both parents, but the big change comes when they transition up to secondary school, the change happens almost overnight.

That isn't a negative, by the age of about 15, young adolescents will be itching to break away from any fixed regime of care and become masters of their destiny. The decision is highly likely to be out of your hands.

If your stepchild decided independently as a teen that they didn't want to do 50/50 anymore and wanted to switch to every other weekend/holidays- that would be when it could be revisited. Other than that, unless a school move is agreed on then you can't really until the child has finished education.

I would say 18 when they have finished college.
If as they get older they choose to spend significantly less time at yours due to socialising, etc and you hardly see them then you could potentially consider moving earlier.

I think as soon as she's left school tbh. She will be learning to drive and will be gaining her independence. As a late teen, I'm sure she won't be maintaining her 50/50 arrangement forever.

When they are settled at uni.

This is what I was going to say. Mid teens she would benefit most from you still living nearby. I would leave it until university or whatever she does post 18.

She’s 10
her life will change pretty soon as she becomes a teen. She’ll want to be close to friends to ‘hang out’ , school, etc etc, not living in the country or with parents hours apart

i personally wouldn’t consider a move till she’s Much older ( like 18)