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Original poster

DSC want a pet

45 replies

plumduck · 11/02/2023 15:19

Aibu to put my foot down and say no? They have pets at their mum's and they are only here EOW and part of the holidays. I just don't want to have to deal with a pet. We're talking rat, fish or gerbil that sort of thing so not a dog or cat but still.

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Hadalifeonce · 11/02/2023 15:21

It would be a NO from me, it would be cruel, as it would die when they don't feed it for a couple of weeks 🤭

AnneLovesGilbert · 11/02/2023 15:22

Of course YANBU. What’s their dad saying about it?

LittleOwl153 · 11/02/2023 15:22

No definitely not. Its not a great thing to teach kids that they only need to care for an animal 2/3 days in 14 and dump it on someone else the rest of the time!

Justmuddlingalong · 11/02/2023 15:24

Nope. Wouldn't be happening.

aSofaNearYou · 11/02/2023 15:48

Of course not, any parents can say no to a pet, you don't have to do it just because they ask.

afinishedkiss · 11/02/2023 15:52

Not a hope OP! Stick to your guns!

funinthesun19 · 11/02/2023 15:54

I’ve said no to my own kids about a pet and have stayed firm with that.
You should have just as much power to say no. Just because they are stepkids doesn’t mean you have to say yes to their every whim.

ZenNudist · 11/02/2023 15:57

Stand firm. I don't let my dc get a pet. If I knew I 100% would never have to do anything with it I'd still say no. They smell.

BungleandGeorge · 11/02/2023 15:58

Can they bring the pets from their other home with them for visits?
does their dad want a pet? If he does he can look after it?

Original poster
plumduck · 11/02/2023 16:20

AnneLovesGilbert · 11/02/2023 15:22

Of course YANBU. What’s their dad saying about it?

"We'll see - a pet would be fun"

Which means I'd be the bad guy for saying no.. but it seems so pointless for so little time when they have other pets.

OP posts:
Original poster
plumduck · 11/02/2023 16:21

LittleOwl153 · 11/02/2023 15:22

No definitely not. Its not a great thing to teach kids that they only need to care for an animal 2/3 days in 14 and dump it on someone else the rest of the time!

Exactly, it wouldn't even be their pet would it. It would have to be DH's pet and frankly the lack of effort he puts in with our shared DC and the housework I don't see him being on top of the cage cleaning or tank cleaning so it will stink/ fish will die

OP posts:
SpinningFloppa · 11/02/2023 16:23

Just say no, not really sure it’s worth a post? My kids want a dog I’ve said no I wouldn’t make a post about it? My kids are with me full time still not happening

Original poster
plumduck · 11/02/2023 16:24

BungleandGeorge · 11/02/2023 15:58

Can they bring the pets from their other home with them for visits?
does their dad want a pet? If he does he can look after it?

No. One of the pets is a dog and it's kind of their mums so I don't think she'd like it. We have no suitable outside space for the other pets and I think we'd need some sort of livestock licence possibly and frankly the neighbours would think us very odd.

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Original poster
plumduck · 11/02/2023 16:25

SpinningFloppa · 11/02/2023 16:23

Just say no, not really sure it’s worth a post? My kids want a dog I’ve said no I wouldn’t make a post about it? My kids are with me full time still not happening

If it were my own child and they were their age it would be different as they would be here the whole time so I could badger them to look after it . Due to this and the whole "treat them like your own" I wanted to have a sense check on this one thanks.

OP posts:
SpinningFloppa · 11/02/2023 16:28

plumduck · 11/02/2023 16:25

If it were my own child and they were their age it would be different as they would be here the whole time so I could badger them to look after it . Due to this and the whole "treat them like your own" I wanted to have a sense check on this one thanks.

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But you can say no to your own kids as well, mine want a dog, kitten, hamster, just because they want it doesn’t mean they get it

hourbyhour101 · 11/02/2023 16:31

@plumduck since you would be the one doing the work actually I would say to the kids - "I'm so sorry DH would make a very bad pet daddy and since your not here every day I would be afraid dad would forget to feed it" (said with a smile) when they say "can't you do it" just smile again and "say my main focus is making sure all the children are happy and fed and the house stays clean and my hands are full"

Maybe if your dad helped with household chores I would change my mind. And get the kids on his case that why. Hand your DH monkeys back to him.

Also with a DH like this your 100% ok to say no to them.

Original poster
plumduck · 11/02/2023 16:41

SpinningFloppa · 11/02/2023 16:28

But you can say no to your own kids as well, mine want a dog, kitten, hamster, just because they want it doesn’t mean they get it

Show quote history

Yes but I might let my own have one if I think they'll help with it.

OP posts:
Original poster
plumduck · 11/02/2023 16:42

@hourbyhour101 Yes something like that. Or maybe I'll say to DH if he can prove he can step up with the rest of the housework for 6 months we can revisit it

OP posts:
Suzi888 · 11/02/2023 16:42

Well firstly it’ll be your pet not theirs. You don’t want one, say no.

playyourcardswrite · 11/02/2023 16:43

hourbyhour101 · 11/02/2023 16:31

@plumduck since you would be the one doing the work actually I would say to the kids - "I'm so sorry DH would make a very bad pet daddy and since your not here every day I would be afraid dad would forget to feed it" (said with a smile) when they say "can't you do it" just smile again and "say my main focus is making sure all the children are happy and fed and the house stays clean and my hands are full"

Maybe if your dad helped with household chores I would change my mind. And get the kids on his case that why. Hand your DH monkeys back to him.

Also with a DH like this your 100% ok to say no to them.

Please don't do any of this.

If your DH is not up to scratch as a father and husband, discuss it with him, and him only.

None of the DC should be used in this way.

hourbyhour101 · 11/02/2023 16:44

@playyourcardswrite that works if her DH wasn't making her the bad guy.

And if it's factual why should she be made the bad guy for saying no ...

playyourcardswrite · 11/02/2023 16:46

hourbyhour101 · 11/02/2023 16:44

@playyourcardswrite that works if her DH wasn't making her the bad guy.

And if it's factual why should she be made the bad guy for saying no ...

Tit for tat then?

Excellent approach

Dotcheck · 11/02/2023 16:47

So, neither of you want any kind of pet?
Isn’t there anything you can get which would fuel their excitement to come?
What about a bird box with a camera, or a hedgehog home? Something along those lines?

coldcoffee12 · 11/02/2023 16:49

I mean god forbid they would have anything to look forward to seeing at visits....

Why are they there so little?

gogohmm · 11/02/2023 16:49

The only kind of pet you should consider is one that can ported back to their mums eg a hamster