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Step-parenting

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Should we ask ex for the money?

27 replies

Moneyquestion23 · 05/01/2023 14:00

Have NC for this as I don’t want it linked to my other posts.

Totally understand money is a sensitive issue for many. And money in blended families and between exes can be fraught.

Would welcome polite views on this situation…

DSD turned 18 last year. She attended a private school and both parents earn decent salaries and agreed a 50:50 split of fees from the start.

Ex then frequently fell short or completely opted out of paying school fees – without any warning or apology or thanks, each time leaving DH and me to find thousands of pounds in just a couple of days.

When DSD was 10, DH was happy to consider state school as choices were good and we knew we were at risk of paying for everything again. Ex was adamant about private and pushed very hard for this. She promised she would change her approach to money and never miss her half of the fees.

You can probably guess what happened. Things were better but far from ideal, with more last minute shortfalls which we had to cover.

I have not worked it out exactly but it’s likely to be around £10,000.

She earns a good salary and we would not expect it back in one go. If she was hard up and saving every penny I would probably write this off.

My question is.. should we ask the ex for the money she should have paid? WWYD?

OP posts:
lookluv · 06/01/2023 19:26

£10k over 13 years - is lot of monies but not quite at the level you seem to be implying.
She agreed and failed to pay her share of approximately £800 per year - tbh not worth getting worked up over it. The vindictive comments on withholding for weddings etc are simply ridiculous does not hurt the mother just the daughter.

Also what is a decent salary and re they comparable. Am in the same boat but alot more than 10K, I have just written it off in my head - not worth getting worked up over. Ex will not change

Either way she should have paid if that was what she agreed

Sugarplumfairy65 · 07/01/2023 19:51

randomusername666 · 05/01/2023 14:45

When DSD gets married be tardy stumping up for wedding costs

So you suggest punishing the daughter?

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