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Original poster

DP checking life 360

45 replies

crikeybiller · 27/08/2022 17:44

Been with DP for 3.5 years. He has 2 primary school dc with exw that he shares 5050.

Recently dc1 has been given a mobile phone and both dp and exw track him on the app life 360.
In the last couple of weeks I've noticed that dp checks it constantly when dc is with his mum.
He's forever looking to see where they are or what they are doing
I've mentioned it and he says he has a right to know where his dc are etc but it makes me uncomfortable.
When dc is with us he occasionally ( it could be more but I think he hides it ) uses his dc phone to check where his exw is, as the dc and mum track each other.
He recently had the dc for a week and commented to me that he had seen that his ex was abroad. It really concerned me. Why was he checking? His dc was with us so what was the need ?
On the other hand if I was able to check where my ex was out of curiosity, would I?
Should I be worried?

OP posts:
PeekAtYou · 27/08/2022 17:46

It's creepy as hell and a massive red flag that he's checking xw whereabouts when his kids are with him.

DenholmElliot1 · 27/08/2022 17:47

He's very nosy isn't he?

Does he take you out on dates when the kids are at their mums? Or just sit around tracking their movements and generally pissing about on his phone?

ChicaneOvenchips · 27/08/2022 17:47

Your ex needs to be in a different "family" gr

Luredbyapomegranate · 27/08/2022 17:48

yes. Very odd. Is there anything else he does like this.

Original poster
crikeybiller · 27/08/2022 17:48

No we do go out, we do all sorts, we've just spent 2 weeks abroad together.

OP posts:
ChicaneOvenchips · 27/08/2022 17:49

Sorry sent too soon!

On life 360 his kid can be in more than one "family circle". He needs to be in one with his mum and a separate one with his dad. That way the two parents can't see where each other is (apart from when the child is with the parent I suppose!)

Original poster
crikeybiller · 27/08/2022 17:49

@ChicaneOvenchips what do you mean?

OP posts:
Randomthoughts992 · 27/08/2022 17:50

Id be creeped out that hes stalking some woman, Ex or not

Isaidnoalready · 27/08/2022 17:51

Creepy as fuck my ex stalks me he airtagged my car once too got to admit I found it disturbing and no he doesn't "need" to know where his child is the child is with the other parent

Original poster
crikeybiller · 27/08/2022 17:52

He is in 2 separate groups.
He takes dc phone from him at night as he's only 9, and checks that occasionally to see where exw is.
That's the thing I've caught him doing that worries me.
I've mentioned it concerns me and he says it's curiosity and he says he doesn't give a shit what she does etc etc, he loves me etc, but he still checks every now and then.

OP posts:
ZeroFuchsGiven · 27/08/2022 17:53

He recently had the dc for a week and commented to me that he had seen that his ex was abroad. It really concerned me.

Surely he knew she was going abroad before she left? Its must be a very strange relationship if one parent did not tell the other parent they were leaving the country for however many days, not to mention a child would know his mum was going on holiday. Why would you think he was stalking his ex? Confused

GhostFromTheOtherSide · 27/08/2022 17:55

Sounds like the kind of thing my eXH would have done.

Is that why they split up per chance? Because he continually spied on her?

It’s not on, and TBH I’d be making sure I wasn’t on his find my iPhone or whatever and that he couldn’t do the same with you. Because I’d bet money he stalks you wherever you go.

Original poster
crikeybiller · 27/08/2022 17:56

No he didn't know. She just told him she was " going away " so he said he looked out of curiosity.
She's recently got a new batch so think he was curious.
The dc also didn't know their mum was going abroad. She didn't tell them.
When we went he emailed her to tell her and gave her emergency contact details etc

OP posts:
pastypirate · 27/08/2022 17:57

So he's checking the child's phone to see where the mum is? Or he's on the same group so he can see anyway.

Either one is so out of order. If it were me I would message the ex wife and tell her. Right before I binned the man!

Honestly ffs he needs to grow up.

We use Life360. Exh is in a group with the kids. I'm in a different group with the kids. It's handy like that!

Original poster
crikeybiller · 27/08/2022 17:58

We Actually do track each other on life 360 because we don't live together, but that was at my instigation. I went home very late one night by train and he tracked me to ensure I was safe abd we just kept it. I'm not worried by it.

OP posts:
GhostFromTheOtherSide · 27/08/2022 17:58

she didn’t tell him because she still doesn’t want him to know where she is. If she was in an abusive relationship with him then she likely doesn’t trust him not to spy on her.

Honestly OP I would watch your back.

pastypirate · 27/08/2022 17:59

crikeybiller · 27/08/2022 17:58

We Actually do track each other on life 360 because we don't live together, but that was at my instigation. I went home very late one night by train and he tracked me to ensure I was safe abd we just kept it. I'm not worried by it.

Bet he's loving that

Original poster
crikeybiller · 27/08/2022 18:00

@pastypirate he is in a group with dc. He checks that when dc is with mum.
He uses dc phone when dc is with us to see where mum is. I've said that. 😔

I meant mum.has a new boyfriend above, I think that's what's triggered this.

OP posts:
GhostFromTheOtherSide · 27/08/2022 18:01

We Actually do track each other on life 360 because we don't live together, but that was at my instigation. I went home very late one night by train and he tracked me to ensure I was safe abd we just kept it. I'm not worried by it. this relationship has the red flag bunting waving all over it.

Tel you what OP, delete the app, and see how long it takes him to realise he can’t track you any more.

Original poster
crikeybiller · 27/08/2022 18:02

I don't have dc so not sure how normal this all is tbh

OP posts:
MrsDrDear · 27/08/2022 18:02

Someone needs to tell his ex that she has no privacy. She needs to know.

Original poster
crikeybiller · 27/08/2022 18:03

@GhostFromTheOtherSide but why ? Because he can track me ? I genuinely don't mind.
My question is about why he would be tracking his ex ? What motivates that?

OP posts:
Wombat27A · 27/08/2022 18:05

Jealousy, control, nosiness, lack of boundaries...the reason doesn't matter. I'd be asking her why they split up.

Creepy as fuck.

pastypirate · 27/08/2022 18:07

crikeybiller · 27/08/2022 18:02

I don't have dc so not sure how normal this all is tbh

It's not normal. Sorry if posts have been harsh but this kind of app is directed at parents. Not grown adults.

ChicaneOvenchips · 27/08/2022 18:09

@crikeybiller on the ap, members of the same family all join a "circle", these are then the people who's location you can see. But you can be in more than one circle, so the DC could be in a circle with just his mum (so his mum can only see her DCs location) and a different circle with their Dad (so Dad can only see his DCs location) that way the Mum and Dad are not in each others circles and therefore cannot see each others locations. The only possibility of Dad knowing where Mum is in this scenario is by looking at the child's location and knowing/assuming that they are with their Mum (eg if they go to a restaurant together or to the park etc).