Refusing to do petty things

[Caniplssssss]

I've reached this point with DH. I know it sounds petty but it's really winding me up.

Basically DH will leave certain things to me, or ask them of me and it gets my back up because there's no reason why he can't do them.

For example, asking me to open DSDs bank account. I opened one for our child a while ago and ever since he's pecked my head about opening DSDs as if he doesn't own a pair of hands and a brain himself. I haven't done it because I'm busy myself and I think just open your own child's account for goodness sake!

It's the same with things like pictures. If I put up a picture of DCs nursery photo or something it's none stop 'can we put one up of DSD etc etc..' I get that, I have no problem with that but just do it then! Why are you asking me to do it as if you can't?! (There are pics of DSD up btw from when we moved in but he hasn't added new ones).

Basically now anything like that I just don't do. I say 'yes sure' and then leave it. If he wants to do it he is a capable grown man. I just feel like he expects me to be in the traditional mother/woman role for his DC and therefore he just provides me with expectations and I'm supposed to do it. Like I do it for our DC so I must do it for DSD.

I have absolutely ZERO problem with him putting up pictures of DSD or opening her an account or any of the other things this happens with, but my foot goes down as soon as the expectation is laid on me. It really winds me up, it just reeks of pure laziness or like I say traditional female "roles".

When I went down this road with my EXDsp, he decided I was not doing things for DSC because I didn't like him/hated him. Be warned and don a hard hat, this will be the next accusation that is thrown at you.

If he raises this accusation, you can just ask what his reason is for not doing it.

Carry on as you are. What a lazy,
lazy man he is

I do some things eg. SD and our DD are both starting new schools in sept. I’ll be buying DD a card and have already thought i will get SD one… DP wouldn’t think to do it and I want SD to know we’re behind her as she starts yr 7.

Thats v diff from what you’re describing & I don’t think you’re doing anything wrong by getting him to do it. I did way too much in the early days and looking back it probably did more harm than good… it was well intended though, live & learn eh!

Totally with you op. He will eventually cotton on !

As a PP pointed out, he’s already waiting for you do these things for DC, so he’s actually opting out for all the children. That’s something to remember if he pulls any nonsense about ‘you don’t like DSC’.

I don’t think it’s petty, either,. It’s rude and lazy. The fact he goes on and on about it but never gets on with it himself is so telling. It makes me think this is completely about the appearance of being a good father - it’s purely cosmetic.

Stand your ground, OP.

If he won't do it for his own child why the fuck would you?! Lazy man