Yet another bedroom question

[BaggaChip]

I’ll try to keep it short!

We have DSS(6) one night a week, most weeks, and a bit more during the holidays. We also have DS 6 months. I hope we will have a second baby in next 1-3 years (universe permitting!)

We are moving to a new house with three beds. Second bedroom could easily fit two single beds, third can fit a double but not two singles.

I am unsure about how to allocate rooms, mostly as I don’t know who will need to share in future with younger and possibly opposite sex sibling.

Do we:

A) give DSS(6) larger bedroom because he’s older and could share with his little brother in future, leaving the other room for baby and meaning that resident DC have bedrooms to themselves most of the time

B) Give DS(6mo) larger bedroom because he is resident and he can share with his future sibling who will be closer in age, also means DSS has his own space and doesn’t need to share

I was thinking that if we give DSS the larger bedroom, it would be with the proviso that he’d be expected to share and if in future he wants a bedroom to himself, he’d have to accept moving to the smaller bedroom.

Thoughts?!

I'd probably put both boys in the bigger room. Then the second bedroom would be baby's room eventually. But now could be a spare room or office. I think it would cause issues if you give them a bedroom each now and then one has to share later when baby arrives. Much easier to start as you mean to go on.

I wouldn't talk about him having a room to himself. Baby 2 may be a girl so would make sense for the 2 boys to continue to share. Would make no sense for 2 kids to share all the time so 1 kid has their own bedroom for 1 night a week. Two boys in together then baby has own room makes most sense regardless of what sex baby turns out to be I think.

We are going through this at the moment, SD 14 has had a double room to herself the last 7 years. My 3 year old (her half sister) has the small single. I’m pregnant again and we have decided to have 3year old and new baby share and moved eldest to the single room. Long term we are looking at a loft extension.

Make the bigger room a nursery/playroom.
Give stepson bigger room which is exclusively his and safe place.

Thoughts??

Enjoy the kids you have & stop planning their lives away for a start. God knows what will happen over the years.

DSS only stay one night a week?? Why not more??

Bedrooms. Id make the smallest room for DSS, just how HE wants it. But I'd keep the walls a very pale colour.

I'dmake the middle room for DS (you can then Chuck all the baby clutter in there!!

again keeping the colour light.

make any changes necessary if/when something changes.

they'll need repainting in time anyway & if you keep the colours light, it'll be FAR FAR less hassle.

I'd put the 6 month old in the bigger room as a nursery with a view to him sharing with future baby, and 6 year old in the smaller room on his own.

I would do what @Stupidlydupidly has said initially.

Then once you know the sex of the new baby you can either get the younger two to share, or if the new baby is a girl put her in the single room.

Make the single room an office cum spare room until you have your second child and make it look used.

You need to stop any arguments before they occur.

Wow, okay.

So you never plan for your children’s futures? How is trying to be sensible by thinking ahead “planning their lives away”?

And why do you think it necessary to question how often we have DSS? It’s an arrangement my DH and his ex came up with together, amicably, without any formal court arrangement. It works for us all (inc DSS) and honestly I don’t see why I need to justify it to you.

This is what I would do

I'd put DSS in smallest room.
Your baby DS can share with any younger sister until he is 10 or so, by which time DSS would be 16.

I would put the kids in their own rooms so that a crying baby/tantrumming toddler doesnt wake/annoy an older brother. Then when/if another baby comes along, you reassess. If DS and DSS get along well, at that point, they could share a room and have fun choosing bunk beds etc. If they dont get along well, then new baby goes in with the one least likely to be disturbed. I would put DSS in the smaller room as he is there less time and babies need changing tables etc which take up more space

Thanks everyone for all the replies. I think @SeaToSki ‘s reply instinctively makes the most sense to me as currently DS would definitely disturb his brother if they shared from the outset.

Non resident child in the smaller bedroom from the start.

as above, give DSS the smaller room with his own decor and privacy. your baby and future baby can share in the bigger room and have more space for their toys that will be out all the time.

if future baby is a girl, you can reassess in 6-8 years time.

I think it all depends on whether future baby is a boy or a girl so I would resign myself to some room swapping.

We have somewhat similar atm except DSS and DD are different sexes, DC2 will be another girl.

DSS previously had the bigger room while DD was a baby and had the small one, his room also doubled up as a guest room. We've now moved DD in there and they're sharing bunk beds, DD2 will be in the small room while she's a baby and then will move into the big room with DD1, and DSS will move into the small room on his own. We've prioritised nobody sharing with the baby.

Your situation is slightly different with DSS and DS both being boys, but the bottom line is I would just put them wherever now, with the knowledge that you'll probably have to shift things around when you have second DC.

DSS needs his own room. I think it’s really important he has us own dedicated space at his Dad’s house as opposed to bunking up in his brothers room which could make him feel like he’s just a visitor.

Baby in with you for the time being and then can share with your son for a while. Probably should plan to move to a house with four bedrooms in the medium term.

I don’t understand that suggestion!

This is exactly what I would do.

Taking something desirable (own room) away, will be much more difficult than giving it in future if possible, particularly in the step scenario, as you will get the blame in your role as DSM.

Stepson to have smaller room, sorry... trying to post and deal with other distractions

Especially if the younger child is a girl, there's no real reason for it to be more important DSS have his own room than the two children who live there full time.

I think it’s important for him to have his own space at his dads house so he doesn’t feel like a guest having to bunk in with his brother, who has the room full time.

To be honest it doesn’t sound like this set up will work if the next baby is a girl (which obviously you can’t predict if that will be the case). I think the OP needs to move house or split one of the bedrooms/loft conversion before trying for a third child in the family.

I’d give the baby the smaller room, but that won’t be for some time yet.

*I think it’s important for him to have his own space at his dads house so he doesn’t feel like a guest having to bunk in with his brother, who has the room full time.

To be honest it doesn’t sound like this set up will work if the next baby is a girl (which obviously you can’t predict if that will be the case). I think the OP needs to move house or split one of the bedrooms/loft conversion before trying for a third child in the family.*

Why more so than the two children who live there all the time? If they don't need their own space why should DSS? There are solid reasons both could benefit from it, not one more so than the other. It could be equally said that the two younger children were having to bunk in together just to keep a space free for the child that is barely there to have it to themselves. Prodigal son and all that.

It's obvious what should happen if the next child is a girl - the two boys should share. In an ideal world we'd all move and no children would ever share but in reality most of us just make do.

@BaggaChip
I'm going through this only im 18 weeks pregnant, my dp has a boy and a girl a room each but girl has not stayed in her room for bot a year always shares with her brother so we r turning her room in to the baby room, I'm not going to keep a room that is never used and have the mind boogle of what to do. Her brother is happy enough to share as at 15 he hates staying in the room on his own.

Girls and boys can share, quite happily, whilst at primary age, so surely that isn’t going to make a difference for some time.