Today's the day

[Babyghirl]

Hand hold today day is the day dscs find out they are going to have a brother or sister, I'm leaving dp down stairs with them to tell them to give them time to take it in, as his oldest is 15 and don't know what way he will take it.

For the love of god op wasn't involved in DH being tagged by his sister on fb.

You would think the sister would have had more sense.

I didn't tell DSD until 24 weeks way after we told everyone including her mum because of previous losses.

This mums had a really crappy time. Shall we not kick her when she's down, clearly they found out through nothing she did. And ultimately people would criticise her for telling DSD at whatever time she does.

There isn't a rule book on this, let's not pretend there is. Every blended family is different

Yup his sister is the one who should be getting the stick for this

We wanted his sisters and brothers to know before dsc because they all live on the same street, and did not want mum knowing before them, I told my family late as did he because of are losses, so I told my family 15 weeks he told his 16 weeks and dsc where getting told on Wed but went away for a few days camping so could not be told.

His son has not got fb so no way he would of seen it on there, but there mum does and if she seen it and said anything hope not as it's not her place.

He was meant to take them out today but that has changed but he's going to the house to speak to mum first then going to speak to dsc. He has had aword with his sis but it and told not to say another word until he talks to them.

OH OP I think you meant well but his sister tagging him on facebook was a big no. At any point did you say to her to keep it quiet?

Has he managed to say something now but you do have to be prepared now that this wasnt the way to tell them

The mum might have presumed her children knew if it was already Facebook public.

Yes @Babyghirl you have to be aware that she may have seen it asked her children why they didnt mention it rather than deliberately doing it.

She does have a right though to be annoyed that it was on facebook before she and her children were told.

She does have a right though to be annoyed that it was on facebook before she and her children were told
I'm not sure she does tbh, it's not get business. Plus, none of this is ops fault and nothing can be done about it now anyway. Someone literally asked for support and all the majority of posters can do is pick fault.

I really hope it all went ok op. And like a pp said, even if it doesn't there is a lot of hope that it'll get better in time

Did that make you feel better or?

Do you think that post is at all helpful or do you just enjoy being mean? The op didn't ask for judgement, she asked for a hand hold. Read the fucking room.

Catford - kindly don't swear at me - hand holds when the stress was avoidable and of the op and her DPs own making are hard to do. If OP wants people to tell her they did nothing wrong then people have fronted up and said what she does not want to hear but is true - they screwed up. The only people who suffer in this scenario if they did find out this way are the SDCs - who I do feel sorry for.

I hope it has gone better than many of us who have been in this position have experienced both personally and for their DCS and SDCs.

She doesn't want people to tell her anything, she wants a handhold. Not shitty judgey comments about a situation she cannot change. Do you think you're being helpful? Honestly? Do you think your contribution has helped anyone?

Ah ok I didn't realise the DSC didn't have Facebook.

Anyway please try not to let this detract from your joyous news xx

Even if the Ex found out by accident, she should have just messaged or spoken to your husband before the children. She shouldn't have told the DSC and made it such a negative thing.

And she certainly shouldn't have withheld contact.

Catford - please stop swearing - I have offered my support to OP and commented on what others have said and I agree with - where that gives you the right to swear at me I do not know.

If you can not be polite - don't bother

What support? If anyone is being rude, it's you to the OP.

And she certainly shouldn't have withheld contact

OP mentions teens. So old enough to know themselves how the feel about being last to know? OP has only guessed mum ‘withheld contact’, presumably because that helps soften the blow that she and her DP might have made a bit of a mess of this, however unintentional? For all we know mum has had to manage some distressed and upset teens and has spent time trying to persuade them to talk with their dad?

Thanx do the ladies who have given me the hand hold. Xx

Whats done is done now and can't be undone, he should of told his family not to mention anything but didn't, through all r losses they where just excited to hear the good news as they have seen the struggles I have been through, mum told dp sis awhile ago before I fell she would love another on so I dont think it's to do with annoyance think it boils down to jealousy, she knows if the kids knew her son would of went straight upstairs and text her to tell her and that's why we wanted parents snd siblings to know first hand before the kids.

Dss will make a great big brother and we r hoping he gets excited for baby coming along.