Father’s Day

[Mumma1799]

Me and my partner have been together nearly a year, he only met my 6 year old 4 months ago & he is fantastic with her, helps me out with childcare when I’m at work & I just couldn’t wish for a better role model for her. She has her dad in her life but my question is, do I get my partner a gift for father day from my daughter?
This is the first relationship I’ve had since me and her dad split up 5 years ago so I’m all new to this, does anyone else do this with their children & partners?

thank you 😊

No way, he is not a father to your dc in any way.
They already have a father they don't need a replacement.

I think, at this point, I wouldn’t even consider it. You’re not really in established stepfather territory at this point so it would be a bit odd.

You could get a more generic card and write a message to him from you thanking you for helping you with your daughter. But it would probably still feel a bit odd to both of you to be doing ‘fathers’ day’.

Personally I'd say no. He's your boyfriend not her stepfather in any meaningful sense except helping out (to help you out I expect). She has a daddy, don't confuse her this early on. Assuming you don't live together yet?

Do you live together?

No I wouldn't. I imagine that would be really hurtful towards her biological father and also quite confusing for your daughter.
If you wanted to mark the occasion as a way of acknowledging him they do that between the two of you but I would absolutely say to not involve your daughter.
I would be absolutely heartbroken if my ex gave another women a Mother's Day card never mind after just a few months.

It’s a bit early. What about a nice card from you in appreciation of all he does for your child on Father’s Day. That way you’re thanking him but it’s from you rather than your daughter.

No ffs he's only known her 4 months. You might split up with him tomorrow.

He'll probably potentially right off as well, thinking you're after a replacement dad

Not at this point, no.

No.
If he's still around when she's older, let her decide, not you.
There are some nice step parent cards.
I've never had a card from mine and have no hard feelings about it.

Wow no way

Ah, so this is why they have multipacks of Father's Day cards

It’s way too soon. You’re asking a lot of both of them already. She has a dad, he’s who she does things for for Father’s Day.

If he had a girlfriend your DD had known for 4 months would you be happy with him arranging a Mother’s Day thing for her from DD? Having her on her own while he worked?

No he doesn't need a Father's Day card/gift after 4 months & I say this as someone who has DC who give their ex-stepdad and current stepmum gifts on fathers/mothers day but IMHO he shouldn't be doing childcare either given you've only been together a year & DD has only known him for 4 months.

I agree it's a bit soon, but I'm a bit shocked that so many people seem horrified by the idea of doing it at all!

My kids are as close to their step dad as they are to their dad, they care about him and want to celebrate what he does for them!

You said it yourself, he helps with childcare. He doesn't parent them.

I think at this point, it’s more a case where you should be thanking him for his help and telling him how much you love him for it, rather than your daughter showering him with love which she probably doesn’t feel for him yet.

No. It's really not appropriate at this point. In fact it may never be appropriate. Even if you stay together long term it will be up to your daughter to decide if she sees him in a parenting role & up to her if she wants to mark something like Father's Day with him - it should never be a agenda you push on either of them.
If you want to thank him for all he's doing to help YOU, at some other point in time do so - just make sure the thanks is from you & is not part of Father's Day.

No I think that’s too much too soon

Good grief, no, he's not her dad just one of mum's friends who babysits sometimes.

Absolutely not. Really disrespectful to her Dad. I would never expect this from my SD's and I've known them for years and am married to their Dad. Would make me feel deeply uncomfortable and upset their Mum. Don't do it.

Just wanted to say that it's so lovely to read you saying that and having respect for their mum and how she feels ♥️ That's really so thoughtful of you!

He becomes her step dad when he marries you. Until then he is your boyfriend. By the sounds of it a pretty good one. So hopefully in time he will be her step dad.. at that point she can decide for herself if she wants you to get something for him to give on Father's Day..

The fact that she has a father is not really here or there. Her relationship with him is completely different.. if she is really lucky (like I was) .. I had a fabulous father and an equally fabulous step father.. you can have both !

@Wednesdayafternoon thanks, that's kind 😊

What?! No of course you don't get a boyfriend who's only known your child for 4 months a Father's Day card, why on earth would you? I've interacted with strangers through my job for longer than that.