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Ex in our house! Fuming.
47

NoMoreKey · 09/06/2022 18:06

My early teen DSC left his phone at ours by mistake the other day.

Ive just found out that his ex rang DH to see about getting it back and he thought it was totally fine and a good idea to tell her she could get his key from him and go and get it from our house!!

To clarify DH works close to where we live and also where their mum lives and DSC was at school.

They don't even get on, DH and ex, she's absolutely horrid to both him and me. I don't know what's possessed him.

I've told him if he ever does that again I'll be so mad. The thought of the woman snooping round my house makes me feel ill (she honestly is awful and is the biggest pita and source of stress in our lives).

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NoMoreKey · 09/06/2022 18:07

Get it from him at work that was meant to say. She was off work so he said she could get his key from him at work and go into our house to get DSCs phone.

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SamphirethePogoingStickerist · 09/06/2022 18:09

Stop! Don't join her in being an unreasonable PITA! Stop raging. Dump your side of the stress.

Or don't and keep those stress levels sky high and be unhappy!

She collected their son's phone. No real harm done.

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NoMoreKey · 09/06/2022 18:10

I wouldn't put it past her to have a good nosey whilst doing so.

I've told DH it's never to happen again anyway.

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ClocksGoingBackwards · 09/06/2022 18:12

First post nailed it.

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GordonBennetttt · 09/06/2022 18:15

Wtf was he thinking?
I'd be pissed off too tbh.

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SamphirethePogoingStickerist · 09/06/2022 18:16

He was thinking about his son, putting the child first! The normal thing that parents do.

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NoMoreKey · 09/06/2022 18:18

SamphirethePogoingStickerist · 09/06/2022 18:16

He was thinking about his son, putting the child first! The normal thing that parents do.

We could have dropped it off like we have done every time before.

She is incredibly nasty and will gleefully use anything she can against us, why would anyone want someone like that in their home.

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GordonBennetttt · 09/06/2022 18:20

SamphirethePogoingStickerist · 09/06/2022 18:16

He was thinking about his son, putting the child first! The normal thing that parents do.

Strange reply but go off.

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SamphirethePogoingStickerist · 09/06/2022 18:27

Why is it a strange reply. His son wanted/needed his phone and his ex was not at work and could collect it. So many times MNers go off on one about putting the kids first, well, he did!

@NoMoreKey As I said, you can either join her in all of that site and bile or you can just smile, sit back and be happy that you aren't. That is a choice you have. Nothing big, bad or wrong happened.

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GordonBennetttt · 09/06/2022 18:32

@SamphirethePogoingStickerist
He can still put his child first without letting his ex into their house.

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Moosake · 09/06/2022 18:34

Absolutely bang out of order. Change your locks.

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Moosake · 09/06/2022 18:35

NoMoreKey · 09/06/2022 18:18

We could have dropped it off like we have done every time before.

She is incredibly nasty and will gleefully use anything she can against us, why would anyone want someone like that in their home.

Yes the son can do without his phone until someone from Dad's house gets it to him.

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Whiskeypowers · 09/06/2022 18:40

if you gone mad you’ve probably done exactly what she hoped you would

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SoggyPaper · 09/06/2022 18:45

GordonBennetttt · 09/06/2022 18:32

@SamphirethePogoingStickerist
He can still put his child first without letting his ex into their house.

He could have told her to come and pick it up after work.

A child forgetting their phone is a want not a need. It can wait til after work.

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SantiMakesMeLaugh · 09/06/2022 19:01

SamphirethePogoingStickerist · 09/06/2022 18:27

Why is it a strange reply. His son wanted/needed his phone and his ex was not at work and could collect it. So many times MNers go off on one about putting the kids first, well, he did!

@NoMoreKey As I said, you can either join her in all of that site and bile or you can just smile, sit back and be happy that you aren't. That is a choice you have. Nothing big, bad or wrong happened.

Nowhere does it say that you shouldn’t protect yourself though. Or have boundaries. Or expect to have you private space respected.

The father could have put his dc first many ways that weren’t allowing his ex to come into his house.

And tbh depending in the age of the child, the child could have come to get it. They could have waited a bit longer. They could have learnt to be responsible for their stuff etc etc etc…

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Youseethethingis1 · 09/06/2022 19:42

I'd be expecting my right to leave my knickers on the airer and medical letters on the counter without some woman I don't like or trust being allowed access to my home to be placed above a child's right to have his phone returned to him immediately.

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WTF475878237NC · 09/06/2022 19:47

My husband's first wife is just lovely so this would be fine with me ...but context is everything and given her behaviour this just isn't on at all!

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monsterastuckiosa · 09/06/2022 20:03

I'd be pissed off, too.

It's a phone, not a kidney.

Leave your phone somewhere, wait to get it back.

Good lesson for DSC, and absolutely no need to let her in on her own with no supervision.

Also sets a hell of a precedent....

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HandbagsnGladrags · 09/06/2022 20:05

Why didn't the kid let himself into the house to get his own phone while she waited outside?

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LesLavandes · 09/06/2022 20:08

No child needs a phone that urgently. Yanbu

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Moosake · 09/06/2022 20:09

HandbagsnGladrags · 09/06/2022 20:05

Why didn't the kid let himself into the house to get his own phone while she waited outside?

OP says they were at school but yes no idea why it couldn't wait.

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Rodneytrotterslovechild · 09/06/2022 20:16

We had the same thing happen to us

dp married a real bitch-when they broke up,she refused to allow him to see the kids,the bile we’ve taken has to be seen to be believed,she contacted every single person I’m related to (snooped on my fb and googled my unusual surname on Google) and sent hateful messages and she’s caused so much trouble for us-no matter how tiny anything is,if she find out about it,we take months of her bile etc

anyway to cut a long story short,she threw the eldest out and she ended up living with us

apple didn’t fall far from that tree and she soon moved out-taking our house keys with her-back to her mother

i told dp to either get the keys back or change the locks-I ended up getting the keys back from her (took weeks of ranting phone calls from the pair of them over that) and didn’t think much of it-as far as I was concerned I’d got them back and that was the end of it

until a few weeks later,I had an unexpected day off work so was having a rare lie in

i heard keys in the lock and got up thinking it was my dp

nope-mrs ex wife had got our keys cut and kept the copy for herself-and had come round and let herself in for reasons only known to herself

i threw her out and we had new locks fitted within the day-of course we are in the wrong for doing this

i would be fuming-if your husband was single then he can do what he likes but it’s your home too and she had no right getting keys to let herself in to grab the phone-she will have had a snoop-her type can’t resist

teens do forget stuff-the lesson is the wait to get it back-I’ve had it with my lot

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Magda72 · 09/06/2022 20:30

@SamphirethePogoingStickerist the kid was at school & as such didn't actually need the phone! It's quite obvious that the kid himself could have picked it up after school or waited for his dad to drop it over that evening. It's equally obvious the ex was using it as an excuse to invade op & her dh's privacy & op has every right to be pissed off with dh & the ex so stop minimising her feelings!

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stepmumspacepodcast · 09/06/2022 20:32

my ex was on holiday once and my son needed something so they told me where the spare keys were…

I had no desire to be in Ex’s house and got in and out as quickly as possible.

is there any chance she did this?!

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stepmumspacepodcast · 09/06/2022 20:32

Oh, just realised kid could have got it himself… in that case it’s a bit creepy!!!!

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