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Step-parenting

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Original poster

Ex remarrying

31 replies

PeekAtYou · 22/05/2022 18:23

My teens got a text about an hour ago saying that their dad is marrying next weekend and they were welcome to come if they fancied ShockShockAngry

The kids have taken my advice not to reply until tomorrow because they are furious at the short notice- they had no clue that they were engaged. Ds sees his dad EOW (came back at lunchtime) and had no clue until the text.

I know this isn't AIBU but am I being reasonable to be annoyed on their behalf? If I was remarrying, my kids would know as soon as they got engaged and would have roles like Best Man/Bridesmaid.

Older dd could have attended if she'd had enough notice (she works weekends) but swapped days and had this weekend off and is working both days next weekend.

Ex hasn't contacted me but I'm gobsmacked he would do this to our kids. They are furious being treated like an afterthought

OP posts:
Pandarinio · 22/05/2022 20:01

aSofaNearYou · 22/05/2022 19:48

Do you know if the wedding itself is last minute? I think more information is probably required.

It does sound crap but perhaps he didn't want to put pressure on them to come and was trying to play it off as casual? You know his character better than us.

Ahh hadn't thought of that. Maybe it's a last minute wedding and this was a surpise to them too? Do they do cancellation slots for weddings?

Original poster
PeekAtYou · 22/05/2022 20:01

her work would probably try to help swap shifts again if she asked

It's a small business where there has to be an experienced person working weekends. She normally works Saturday or Sunday but agreed to work both next week and have Saturday and Sunday off this week. If only she'd known.

She's being brave so we aren't going to discuss this any more but she'll probably want to discuss a reply to her dad when she's ready.

OP posts:
SandyY2K · 22/05/2022 22:43

He doesn't want them to come that's why it's such short notice. Or maybe the ex mistress doesn't want them there.

Original poster
PeekAtYou · 23/05/2022 12:09

Thanks everyone. Feel better after venting yesterday.

Dd hasn't text her dad back and has gone to work. Her boss is really lovely and protective over her so I'm sure she's getting lots of sympathy.

OP posts:
DelphiniumBlue · 23/05/2022 17:14

Just to add, unless the wedding is by special licence ( highly unlikely) you have to give notice- that what banns are - so I don't think you'd just get a cancellation.

SiobhanMcSweeneysBicycle · 23/05/2022 17:25

That's unbelievably shit.
Unless this is a last minute thing that nobody at all knew about at all
Even so just follow your children on this one.
Can't imagine re marrying and not including my dogs let alone children.
Looking at your comments he seems an ok average father.
Is that just his personality ? Means well but can be a thoughtless twat?

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