Apparently you lot are responsible for the demise of my marriage 🤷🏻‍♀️

[SoggyPaper]

You harpies and the stepmonster book apparently.

According to my husband:

”That book ruined your view on this.”
”Some step mum book”
”And also mumsnet”
”And all the negative weirdos there”.

Clearly the problem is nothing to do with him and his treatment of me as unpaid nanny/housekeeper come scapegoat to alleviate his divorced dad fear, obligation and guilt. Nope. Nor him entirely failing to acknowledge any of my basic needs.

Nope the problem is any source of information that confirmed to me that wasn’t ok, that I could and should set boundaries and not accept any of it.

I’d imagine he’s not the only man who has decided that MN has ruined his marriage. Because women supporting each other to raise our expectations of men is a dreadful thing.

So here’s to you, negative weirdos! 😁

If it means you're getting out of that shitstorm, tell him it was me. I'll take full responsibility

😁

I will tell him it was you!

I'm to blame as well !

Good luck with your weight loss 😉

I think this must be part of some unreasonable man script. My ex also took grave offence at the advice and comments I got here.

Am sure men have been making such arguments for centuries, eg ‘it was those ladies in waiting’

Oh definitely. It was those dreadful other women!

It also illustrates the evils of educating women. Thinking for ourselves fand much worse doing it collectively) is extremely dangerous.

@RedWingBoots Over 11 stone gone just like that!

Glad to be have been of service!

It’s almost amazing that he thought this was some kind of criticism. 🤣🤣

Is the stepmonster book worth reading?

Think I'm at the point of not wanting to date anyone with children ever again!

And....Congratulations on finding the courage to put yourself first @SoggyPaper

Yes. Very much so.

lots of it resonates with the awful experience of trying to have a relationship with a nonresident father.

I think you can take his comment as a positive review. 😆

You are welcome
bloody women with their bloody ideas and opinions- this is what happens when you teach them to read

Hahaha!
GOoooooo mumsnet!

Those bloody spinsters, helping you see your worth.

Haha! I ran away 34 years ago from my abusive first husband and was a stepmother. If mumsnet was around then he would have added it to his “ huge file of evidence proving madness, unstable, etc” that he claimed he had compiled on me.
best wishes for your future life

Yes, Mumsnet "ruined" my last relationship.

THANK GOD

Oh my god I mean how dare we confirm that you deserve to be treated with respect and have your needs considered. We really are a bunch of vipers waiting to strike at any awaiting husband to ruin his marital bliss

well done for seeing his defence as utterly laughable!

It's shitty because this should be a safe space to talk to relative strangers about stuff - I don't always want to talk about stuff with family and friends!

It's not just men though - my husband's ex recently took it upon herself to send multiple screenshots of posts about my relationship and mental health issues from months ago to my husband after working out what my username was and trawling through my posts. Apparently the fact I was upset about this means I'm controlling. Wtf.

Happy to help - although I mostly lurk so I can't take ALL of the credit

Hope I helped at some point too.

It just kind of reinforces that you’re better off without him. Because even now, he STILL can’t see what problems he caused and still manages to not recognise his own faults and spin it all on to you and how you made yourself get “brainwashed” 🙄.
If he can’t respect the fact that you went to seek advice and support when you were going through hard times because of him, then it just shows you the type of man he is.

My ex DP referred to MN as "collective madness full of femi-nazi's and hand wringers" any time I mentioned it within his presence. He firmly believed it was all nonsense.

He said the same about my best friends who I met via MN in an antenatal group. And my family. And nearly everybody else who challenged his shitty behaviour

Absolutely. You all helped. 😁

I don’t think he’s at all capable of reflecting that I had (and have) a problem with his behaviour and attitude. If everything had been rosy and great, I wouldn’t have been trying to figure out what was wrong and think of ways to solve it (and concluding that it wasn’t solveable).

I’m just a silly woman who is too easily led astray by awful other women. You’re all just bitter and jealous, you know. You want to make everyone as miserable as you are. 🤦🏻‍♀️

You're welcome!

Isn't it funny how we're always jealous and bitter? I suppose it's because men don't fancy us so we have no meaning in our lives😂