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SC + SC extra curricular + DH going out = too much?

29 replies

Notwithittoday · 05/02/2022 09:08

Could have asked this in AIBU but thought I might get a step parenting perspective.
DH works quite long hours. I work part time as a childminder so we don’t have to use childcare ( no family close by). I’m home all day with our toddler and have a school age child. DH has two from previous relationship who are with us fifty percent. DH does all the travel to pick SC up who live about 40 mins away as their mum works so he picks up from school. The SC also have extra curricular activities on a Monday night and all of Sunday morning which he stays for as it’s in their area with school friends so this amounts to me not seeing him until 8 pm on Monday night and then he’s gone from 8 am until 12 pm Sunday morning. Our DS also has an extra curricular but it’s a drop off and I do it. This all adds up to me being alone a lot with our DC. I appreciate that he’s a good dad and he’s tired from all the to and fro plus work but he also does a hobby one afternoon and one evening a week. Realise this isn’t a lot for most people and I sound awful saying he can’t have some time to himself when he works really hard but I feel like given his work and child commitments it’s a bit unfair to me and he should be doing a hobby a couple of times a month rather than twice a week. Any thoughts?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Marmm · 05/02/2022 20:16

God yeah get a joint calendar it's a lifesaver or see if you can share your phone ones somehow. Far too technical for me.

Tigertealeaves · 06/02/2022 15:15

Google calendar. You can share your calendar with another email address and then can show/hide the calendars of anyone who has shared with you.

Then it is about normalising that BOTH adults check the calendar before booking stuff in...

ilovemyboys3 · 06/02/2022 15:57

Dad has 3 children... dad should split his spare time evenly between said 3 children. His two older children are not more important than his younger one. This will lead of a lot of resentment from your shared child and you. You should sit him down and explain.

toomuchlaundry · 06/02/2022 16:06

It’s his hobby that needs to give especially if he is involved in the SC activity. It’s what happens if you have many commitments. He added an additional child in the mix, so he needs to factor that in. He is also assuming you are looking after the SC I assume whilst he is at his hobby/working late

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