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Step-parenting

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Original poster

TV time

50 replies

oneandonly95 · 29/12/2021 17:28

Prepared to get a grilling as most do on the step-parenting topic and I am likely over reacting but am I right in saying to my OH tomorrow that I want to have a chill day in the lounge, watching whatever I want on the tv for however long I want on my day off for once?!

Basically- DSD (5) lives here with us 70% of the time and when she is here its constant TV. It's all she does and OH seems to not care (I have mentioned it before to him but hey ho nothing changes so what can you do) and even when she is playing with her toys (rarely) the TV is on crappy kids tv mainly silent YouTube videos whenever she is here.

DSD isn't going to her mums as her OH has tested positive for Covid. Fine makes sense she stays here but that was my two days of freedom to watch what I want when I please without being moaned at to turn it off.

Am I over reacting? Just feel like when she is here my only option is to sit upstairs.

How much tv is too much? Or isn't there such a thing.

Just. Want. To. Relax.

OP posts:
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candlelightsatdawn · 29/12/2021 17:36

I mean tbh she has toys and DH to keep her entertained. I would put what I want on and relax.

If that's unacceptable maybe say that DH should do something with DD so that the tv babysitter gets some time off and so do you. Assuming he isn't at deaths door etc.

Abs yes people will probably flame you for this lol 😂

NoraEphronsTurkeyNeck · 29/12/2021 17:43

I wouldn't have anyone dictating what I could and couldn't do in my own home, no matter who they were. If you want to watch tv all day then do so.

Original poster
oneandonly95 · 29/12/2021 17:57

I may have to crack on and do so then Smile

OP posts:
TinyLittlePandaSneeze · 29/12/2021 18:13

I get the same problem when my DSC are here. They take it in turns with each other to choose the mindless YouTube or drama thing to watch and then I'm left feeling like I can't sit in my own home. Then OH has a go at me for always making excuses and "hiding" in the kitchen or going out.

TinyLittlePandaSneeze · 29/12/2021 18:14

Next time I might say hang on a minute it's my turn to choose what to watch and put the sewing bee on

mommabear2386 · 29/12/2021 18:21

Get a tv in another room / bedroom sod giving up your main tv for a 5 year old!

Tattler2 · 29/12/2021 18:23

OP, why not buy a second television or provide a tablet where she can watch as much YouTube as her father is willing to permit?

Both televisions and tablets are relatively cheap, and then you do not have to engage in the parental decision making related to too much /too little or just right amount of media time.

The second device could be a win win for everyone

PieMistee · 29/12/2021 18:25

Can't DH take her out somewhere for a bit? Poor kid and poor you sounds a dull existence.

Original poster
oneandonly95 · 29/12/2021 18:34

She does have a tablet just never ever wants to go on it. I have tried this approach.

Honestly it's soul destroying lol. We have a tv in our bedroom which sometimes I am happy to go lay on my bed and watch but it would be nice to have the choice to sit downstairs.

Oh he does take her out occasionally but like PP said: if I don't go with them I'm then the bad one for not wanting to join them or making other plans.

I will have to have another talk with OH and hope it dont go in one ear anf out the other this time Hmm

OP posts:
TinyLittlePandaSneeze · 29/12/2021 18:37

OP, why not buy a second television or provide a tablet where she can watch as much YouTube as her father is willing to permit?

Families coped perfectly fine with 1 TV before they got cheaper and tablets were invented.

CornishGem1975 · 29/12/2021 18:39

Oh god, I feel your pain. This is the reason they have tablets now. They can watch their - what can only be described as - absolute crap and I can watch what I want.

MaryAndGerryLivingInDerry · 29/12/2021 18:41

Urgh. Another lazy dad opting out of parenting. Why does he have her 70% when he doesn’t actually want to parent her?

RedWingBoots · 29/12/2021 18:42

If he isn't in the room to supervise her watching TV, particularly crap on YouTube due to the dodgy ads, then if you don't want to watch anything change the channel to a radio station.

Seriously I get fucked off explaining to some parents including siblings, friends and colleagues - be careful of the shit that you allow your kids to watch online if you aren't in the room.

If you do want to watch something then just put that on.

Enclosed NSPCC link -
www.nspcc.org.uk/keeping-children-safe/online-safety/

lunar1 · 29/12/2021 18:43

Nobody in my house, adult or child gets a monopoly on the main tv. The only problem with your plan is that your options are limited to programs suitable for a 5 year old being in the room. Your husband needs to take her out for a few hours at least.

Christmasisallaround · 29/12/2021 18:44

@oneandonly95 I realise that being a stepdaughter/stepparent adds a complication - but even with your own child it is ok to want time by yourself and your choice of TV. Annoying that you are made to feel guilty for that.

Constant kids TV on would drive me mad.

Tattler2 · 29/12/2021 18:49

As questionable as it may be for many of us to understand, some parents are perfectly comfortable having their kids watch kids programming.

If the parent is comfortable with that, the question maybe why is someone else objecting to the parenting style? It is not unreasonable to disagree with a parents parenting decisions, but I think it better to not involve yourself in the situation. OP , what this tells you is that he is probably not a partner with whom you should choose to reproduce.

Tattler2 · 29/12/2021 18:57

@TinyLittlePandaSneeze
Families coped quite well with only a house phone before there were cell phones. There was a time when families coped quite well with one car, no computers, no internet, etc.

I don't think that there are very many families that would be very happy coping that way today.

TinyLittlePandaSneeze · 29/12/2021 18:57

If the parent is comfortable with that, the question maybe why is someone else objecting to the parenting style? this is fair enough but not if it is impacting on OP who feels unwelcome in her own home and like she has to go upstairs.

GrazingSheep · 29/12/2021 18:59

He sounds useless
Has he any interest in her at all?

MyDcAreMarvel · 29/12/2021 18:59

Adults don’t really watch tv n the daytime though unless it’s xmas day or they are sick. Is she up very late op?

Tattler2 · 29/12/2021 19:03

@TinyLittlePandaSneeze
Perhaps it is access to the entertainment provided by the device that contributes to the child feeling comfortable in her home particularly if the only stimulation comes from the device.

The solution is such a simple and inexpensive one. Why would it even be questioned.

TinyLittlePandaSneeze · 29/12/2021 19:05

The solution is such a simple and inexpensive one. Why would it even be questioned. a far better solution would be for her to learn to share, a useful life skill. And for the device to not be the only source of stimulation.

Sally872 · 29/12/2021 19:07

I don't think it is unreasonable to have a turn on TV always (so long as it is nothing too grown up for 5 year old to have in back ground). I think expecting full day of TV is unfair especially if 5 year old is used to having it completely.

JSL52 · 29/12/2021 19:16

@MyDcAreMarvel

Adults don’t really watch tv n the daytime though unless it’s xmas day or they are sick. Is she up very late op?
Of course she adults watch tv during the day.
JSL52 · 29/12/2021 19:16

*some