I have two DSC, one is 12 the other 10.
Myself and DH had a DD together in 2020.
My husband is really starting to do my head in with his defensiveness over anything to do with DSC. He is on hyper alert for anything that her perceives as "unfair" and, whilst I was understanding at first, it is seriously annoying me now.
At first it was smaller things, or just hinting about me not "doing as much with DSC now", not "caring as much", not "wanting to spend time with them as much" (erm hello, I had a new baby I was fucking knackered?!) And things like that. If I took DD out with my family somewhere fun it would be "oh but DSC would have liked to go" even if they weren't with us that day and so on...
We've just argued again this morning because it's getting absolutely stupid. The thing now is Christmas presents. Last year DD was only tiny so obviously didn't really bother, this year people have bothered with presents as she's a bit more aware of toys and things. We haven't got her many but my family have got quite a few bits. They've been dropping these off the last couple of days so they are here for Christmas. Every time he's been asking "is there anything for DSC?!" (These are presents from my family, some of whom have never even met DSC or only once or twice). There typically has been things for DSC but things like selection boxes, or a stocking filler type gift although my parents have got them some nice things as they see them a lot more / actually know them.
Cue this morning he's been going on saying he NEEDS to go back out and get DSC more "stuff" because it looks like DD has more. All in all she probably has about 3 more presents but due to age they are bigger presents (plastic toys and such tend to be bigger than presents for a 12 year old).
Its driving me mad, we have spent so much money on DSC. They have a main present each (small looking but pricey, new phone and a computer) which cost us about £500 each and then small stocking bits too each coming up to about another £100 each. We have spent more on DSC than we and our families have combined on DD which is perfectly fine, they are older and their presents are more expensive.
But he's now rushing around trying to "match" the present piles with tat that will never get used because it looks "unfair".
I am so fed up with this ridiculousness and said as such this morning.
My DSC are lovely children and I know are well mature enough to understand that their presents are expensive and although smaller in appearance, cost much more than anything DD will get. I have no doubt in my mind they will be happy and grateful for what they receive on Christmas morning. It's just their Dad.
I am so tired of it. Is this what it's going to be like year on year now? A fucking present competition between a nearly teenager and a 1 year old child. And really, as DD gets older so what if my family get her more presents than DSC who they don't know. I think it's totally unreasonable to expect them to do anything else personally and DSC, not being 5 years old and all, are old enough to understand and probably not even care!
It's not like DD will be getting things they'll want, I'm pretty sure DSC don't want a plastic barbie house and things like that.
Ugh I just needed to rant. He's being so stupid and paranoid and it ruins every occasion recently.