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Step-parenting

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Original poster

To have said be needs to keep distance from younger sibling?

52 replies

GloriaBoil · 10/12/2021 14:58

My step son (8) is staying home from school as their best friend in class has tested positive and DH and their Mum wanted to get him tested before sending him back to school. His lateral flow was negative but waiting on the PCR result because he said his head hurt, which he did this morning.

This has resulted in him staying with me all day as I'm at home with our young DD (2) and they are working.

I said to DH last night that I'd really prefer it if he could speak to DSS and just explain that whilst we wait for the result to come back I'd really prefer him not to be playing closely with DD, picking her up etc which he normally does and could DH just have a chat with him before he leaves for work.

DH thinks I'm being really unfair and unwelcoming and I can't segregate DSS in the house.

I've not suggested separating anyone, it's not like I'm saying he needs to stay shut in his room obviously! Just that he keeps a relative distance from DD, not in her face, playing with all her toys, hugging/picking her up etc.

AIBU!?

OP posts:
Comedycook · 10/12/2021 14:59

Yabu

Original poster
GloriaBoil · 10/12/2021 15:00

As it is, he didn't say anything to him so I've just been trying to keep them apart as naturally as I can today.

OP posts:
Original poster
GloriaBoil · 10/12/2021 15:01

@Comedycook

Yabu
Why? Surely it's just common sense that someone who's been in close contact daily with a positive case, a child no less who wouldn't have been distancing at all from his friend, doesn't get very close to another child whilst they await the results of their test?
OP posts:
Original poster
GloriaBoil · 10/12/2021 15:02

Why on earth would I want him hugging and picking up my daughter all day whilst he awaits a PCR result? Would you think any other person who is waiting on a PCR should be doing this?

OP posts:
yikesanotherbooboo · 10/12/2021 15:05

If I had an 8 year old who had been a covid contact but was symptom free I would probably encourage them not to kiss, cuddle or drape themselves over the rest if us( 2 year olds included) while waiting for the PCR but I wouldn't isolate them. It's good Bly for a day or so.

Original poster
GloriaBoil · 10/12/2021 15:09

Yes I'm not isolating him obviously. He's been watching a film with us today and has chosen to spend a bit of time in his room too but he's been free to come and go as he wants. I just don't want him playing right in DDs face/cuddling/picking her up and so on.

OP posts:
UpToMyElbowsInDiapers · 10/12/2021 15:10

YANBU at all!

Original poster
GloriaBoil · 10/12/2021 15:11

And I appreciate he's not got the three main symptoms but he has said he doesn't feel well with a headache. So as someone who'd been exposed to Covid and is awaiting a test, I don't think that strictly counts as symptomless.

OP posts:
TiddlesTheTiger · 10/12/2021 15:11

YANBU imo.
Why could you not explain it nicely to him, as DH didn't?

Original poster
GloriaBoil · 10/12/2021 15:13

@TiddlesTheTiger

YANBU imo. Why could you not explain it nicely to him, as DH didn't?
DH gets very defensive about things to do with DC, I imagine he'd have been pissed off if I did it. He already says things about me being "more bothered about DD" and I imagine this would just have added fuel to that. So I wanted him to do it as DSS's father.
OP posts:
StopGo · 10/12/2021 15:15

How come your the default child care? One of his two parents should look after him and wait for the test results.

Sirzy · 10/12/2021 15:15

I think encouraging sensible distancing and precautions is sensible while you wait.

Original poster
GloriaBoil · 10/12/2021 15:16

@StopGo

How come your the default child care? One of his two parents should look after him and wait for the test results.
That's another thread tbh.
OP posts:
Geppili · 10/12/2021 15:18

You shouldn't be looking after him! One of his parents should be.

frazzledasarock · 10/12/2021 15:19

If he is positive he will have been contagious a week ago.

I got told by NHS test trace I would have been contagious two weeks prior to showing symptoms!

I think it’s sensible to encourage them to not kiss and hug but at this point if he has covid he will have spread it already.

luverlybubberly · 10/12/2021 15:19

How are you keeping them separate successfully? That's a bloody difficult task unless you're setting up one with an activity and focusing on the other or using literal barriers like a baby gate.

TiddlesTheTiger · 10/12/2021 15:21

Oh well, so DH is uninterested in protecting his DD's health and you go along with it because he's a bully.
Fine.

Original poster
GloriaBoil · 10/12/2021 15:21

@frazzledasarock

If he is positive he will have been contagious a week ago.

I got told by NHS test trace I would have been contagious two weeks prior to showing symptoms!

I think it’s sensible to encourage them to not kiss and hug but at this point if he has covid he will have spread it already.

I do get that but at the same time I'm not just going to be like oh well, may as well hug and kiss your sister then as you've probably already given it her anyway 🤷‍♀️
OP posts:
Original poster
GloriaBoil · 10/12/2021 15:23

@luverlybubberly

How are you keeping them separate successfully? That's a bloody difficult task unless you're setting up one with an activity and focusing on the other or using literal barriers like a baby gate.
I'm just sat with DD playing on the floor and have had to change her or get her a snack the few times he's gone to play with her.

He came down and watched a film with us earlier but DD was asleep on me for most of it and he was sat on the other sofa across the room.

OP posts:
frazzledasarock · 10/12/2021 15:24

I agree he shouldn’t be kissing and hugging her.

I also think he should be with either his own mum or dad.

If he turns out positive will he stay at his mums or with you?

chocolatesaltyballs22 · 10/12/2021 16:20

Agree that what you've suggested is sensible. Sounds like your husband is over sensitive where his son is concerned. I wouldn't be doing the default childcare either though.

Joystir59 · 10/12/2021 16:21

Yabu. They are siblings. Crack on.

Obsidiansphere · 10/12/2021 16:23

Yanbu

SoupDragon · 10/12/2021 16:24

YANBU. It's common sense to keep some distance.

Tigertealeaves · 10/12/2021 18:19

@Joystir59

Yabu. They are siblings. Crack on.
My younger DSC had symptomless covid a while ago and his own dad and full sibling were saying "keep away don't sit so close to me" and teenage brother was yelling at him to wear a mask, didn't want to sleep in shared room etc so one of the DSC ended up with mum and one with us.

Is that okay? If so why isn't it okay for a step parent or half sibling to socially distance?