Boyfriends/girlfriends in teens bedrooms

[time2tork]

Hi.

Just generally looking to see what other people think of a 12 year old girl having her 12/13 year old boyfriend alone in her bedroom and them snuggling in bed? (Her own words).

Also a 14 year old boy having his 12 year old girlfriend alone in is bedroom also snuggling in bed.

I am a Step Mum to two children who are allowed to do this at their Mums house.

Their life and family rules is nothing to do with me, but I am also a parent and my children are getting older so I wondered what other people do in this situation?

Personally I think there should be more boundaries in place, maybe a door left open? Or cuddles with movies should be in a communal area like the downstairs sofa.

What have you done in the past when your teens have started having boyfriends/girlfriends over?

I agree. It's too young to just let happen.

Absolutely not, no danger

12. No way. I'd be pretty unhappy with my 12 yr old daughter having a bf of 14 too. It's only 2 years but could be a significant gap in terms of maturity and sexual interest. A lot of 14 year olds are sexually active to some degree - not necessarily full intercourse. 12 much less so. I wouldn't be facilitating them having private time.

I think that’s actually a big safeguarding concern… 12 is so young!

I’d advise your partner to call NSPCC for some advice.

My ds wouldn't be having a 12 year old girlfriend.

What does their dad say? I'd be so worried that my son liked younger girls for control and so worried that they could end up in sexual intercourse/rape technically as 12 yr olds cannot consent.

@SnowWhitesSM Valid points! The age gap knowing the story isn't a control thing brewing. My step son is in Year 9 at an all boys school and the girl is in Year 8 at an all girls school - they met because the girl is friends with my step sons sister, it's the only time he ever see's a girl is when his sister has her friends over.

I agree on the age gap, it's just shy of 2 years and I don't see it working when he is 16 and she is 14.

@Beamur My thoughts exactly! 12 is so so young. I have my own kids 10 year old daughter and no way would she be in bed with a boy in 2 years. 😷

My DD is 14 and some of her friends are 'dating' but it's still pretty innocent stuff, hanging out, going to the cinema, that kind of thing. She hears - more school peers than her circle of friends that some are more sexually active/curious. But this is Yr10 so some will be 15 not 14...

I think it's too young. My eldest is 13 and I wouldn't allow it. Me and my boyfriend at 14 were quite sensible studious kids and were trusted in each others rooms. We had sex.

I thought this would be about teens aged 15+, not that age!

Christ. My eldest is 13, it would be a cold day in Hell before I allowed this. Fortunately she shows no signs of being interested in romantic relationships yet, and nor was I at that age. I was 17 before I went on a date - and I asked my Dad if I could first I was a bit strange though.

Ohh it's that age gap that wouldn't sound so bad if was 20 and 18 or even 15 and 17 (please no one pile on me for 15 and 17 comment)

12 I'm sure I was still crimping my hair at that point. Sex education at school is done earlier than it was in my day wasn't it ? 😩Someone reassure me I have a 12 year old, and this hasn't cropped up yet.

How do people handle this ? Do you have to default to mums rules here ? If dad isnt overly concerned. I was never allowed boys over period so my gauge is off