Use of the term 'stepmother' in the press

[CornishGem1975]

Just reading up on the awful awful death/murder of Arthur Labinjo-Hughes at the hands of his father and his father's girlfriend.

The headlines all wildly proclaim that he was murdered by his 'stepmother' yet we are repeatedly told on MN that we are categorically NOT stepparents unless we're married and should not refer to ourselves as that.

Do they use the term stepmother because of the negative connotations that it conjures up? ie we're all wicked people, out to torment our stepchildren and make their lives a living hell?

I can't fathom how a parent could treat their own DC in such a horrific way as to kill them.

Unfortunately the background of this family looks to be one of violence across the board; I understand the only reason Arthur was living with his dad was because his mum was in prison for killing her boyfriend.

So much was missed in this case which could have saved poor Arthur, both sides of grandparents had made referrals to social services, and things must have been pretty bad for their own parents to think they needed outside help.

I did notice the word ‘stepmother’ used in this case. Yes it’s factual but it’s a loaded word. But she was in no way a mother to this poor child - and she is the one found guilty of his murder. She was his fathers partner. God, her poor children.

My grandmother had the story book evil stepmother - but her dad was a complete bastard too.

Of course she was not a step mother. She was his father's girlfriend.

I don't think you have to be married to be a step parent but, of course, you have to have been together more than a couple of months.

My DFiance has dc, I will consider myself stepmother once we're living together and I take on a motherly role in their lives, until then I'm Dad's Fiancé. Same for my DC when he lives with us and he's acting in a fatherly role he'll be stepdad until then he's just my fiancé.

I’ve questioned the use of “step mother” in Arthur’s case from the beginning as she had been with Hughes a matter of months.

I don’t think you need to be married, but I think you need to be in a long term (more than 2 years) stable relationship to be a step parent