DC keeps asking me questions about my body

[Habber]

DP has a 6yo boy. DP and his side of the family is like me and mostly on the chunky side 😂. I’m not in my best shape I am aware so maybe sensitive. I’m a size 14/16

DC mum is very very slim.

DP’s child keeps asking me questions like why do I have a big bum. Why do I have big legs. Why do I have lumps on the back of my legs (cellulite) 😭 why do I have a wobbly stomach. I am usually wearing PJ’s when he asks and as it’s warm I have been wearing shorts. If DP hears him ask he will tell him it’s rude, but he will ask me and I honestly do not know what to say? What do I say!

I'd just say 'because that's the way I am , we all have different bodies' and leave it at that. No need to talk about rudeness etc,then change the subject.

Has Ds not noticed that people come in different heights, skin colour, size, hair texture etc ? I think his Dad needs a word with him before he inadvertently hurts another child's feelings asking too many questions about their body. I'm not saying it's ok to ask adults but if my child came home from school feeling like you do after being questioned about their bodies then I wouldn't be impressed at all.

I can’t believe there are comments about the OP working on her own body image and being over sensitive, when a child is repeatedly making highly personal comments about her body to her, despite having been told it’s rude - which it is! When my children were little yes they asked questions about bodies / differences etc and I gave them appropriate information but I also made it very clear to them that personal comments on people’s bodies etc was not acceptable. I didn’t read the OPs comments about the mum being slim but not doing much as disparaging - just that she was naturally slim rather than dieting / working out etc, so he wouldn’t be picking it up from there.

I think thr comments on body image are more to ensure the op is secure enough to not be upset my a small child asking questions about her weight or body . This is a six year old not a sixteen year old. Little kids ask questions factually.

The reality is it’s difficult for a little six year old to understand that they can say something like you look nice, or you look fit , you look beautiful and to hear these things being said, but if they say you look fat then it’s an insult. For them it’s just factual.

It’s started to bother me because it’s not just once or twice. I am self conscious but usually at home in a more relaxed way so not thinking about it and would walk around in PJ shorts but I don’t want to anymore.

He also said yesterday that he didn’t like my feet and why do I always have my feet out. I think I give this kid the bork and ick.

Sorry - but I'm a mother of 3 & at this point, even at 6, he's being RUDE. This is gone beyond curiosity as he's asking the same questions over & over.
I also don't see why you have to work on your body image as people have suggested.

This child's parents need to work on his commentary.

His behaviour is a bit wierd.
Do you and DP kiss and hug - if not perhaps you should that would probably interest him much more and also it's making it clear DH likes you how you are.

My DGD was standing open mouthed when DGF and me had a kiss and cuddle as DGF was going away - sadly not something her DP's did in her view.

Just because kids may just be being curious when they ask something doesn't mean you have to let them keep asking questions about your body if you don't like it. I would say that's enough questions now dss go and play.

Yeah I think it’s rude too. Perhaps you should just say that his comments are starting to make you feel a bit sad and it might be nice to talk about something else. Then change the subject.

Yeah. Im with @Magda72 at this stage. It’s not ok.

It sounds as if he's picking up some unhealthy attitudes and prejudices at home. Why not turn the question back on him - what makes you ask that? At six he won't dissemble and you'll soon know if he's overhearing comments about you at home.

What you do about it is another question!

I would just say that's enough questions now, let's do (something else, whatever interests him)

@NewlyGranny

Why would your assumption be that the child is picking up unhealthy attitudes at home, and by at home which of his homes do you mean?

In OP's initial statement , she said that these questions come when she is wearing pj shorts. Perhaps the questions are triggered by his seeing more of her body than he is accustomed to seeing. That may be the trigger for the questions.

It does seem that the OP, based upon some of her statements does not have a particularly positive view of her body image. Is it possible that the child has picked up on this and that is the trigger for his questions.

We don't have anymore evidence that these thoughts and questions are being generated by discussions in his mother's than we do that it may be what he sees in the OP' s residence.

I think that it is not a particularly healthy situation when an adult s self confidence can be so badly shaken by the curiosity of a 6 year old. This is one of the adults who should be guiding this child and yet it seems that child is being blamed for the adult' s response to his questions.

There is something pretty skewed about a situation where the adults are so unraveled and so upset by questions from a 6 year old child.

I don’t speak about my weight around children but I am noticeably larger in the past few months because of a health reason.

I am not lying on the floor in bits with my Mh destroyed over over it I feel a bit odd about it and was asking for advice as to what to reply to the child, who I don’t hate or blame for anything or his mum cos I have no idea if it’s something he’s over heard or just curious. I’ve had lots of good advice thanks.

I might never know where it comes from but a 6yo asking how much you weigh is weird. I have my own children and nieces and nephews and I’ve never heard any of them asking about someone’s weight. Hairy arms or wobbly bits are fair game questions with kids.

But he’s asked me lots of very specific questions on lots of different occasions so I think it needs to be put to bed now. Also now he hates my feet too 😂 so I think I give him the ick.

I’m working on losing weight and it’s really slow process, me being fat is my issue it’s just weird he keeps on about it