Pregnant and don't want to hear anything about the birth of my stepson - am I being unreasonable?

[Ernestina]

My dh is generally very sensitive to my feelings but I've told him I don't want "the benefit of his experience" from the birth of his son and would prefer him not to mention it at all. Yet he still comes out with little things I'd rather not know.

Most recently he said all the pictures of birth and newborn babies at the antenatal class brought back happy memories for him. Hello?! Surely this would be the same as me saying something like, oh, this trip to Paris is bringing back happy memories of when I was here with my ex.

Or am I being unreasonable?

Just for background info, I get on well with my stepson, but don't have anything to do with his mum and have perfected getting on with my life without giving her a second thought (she is very awkward about contact arrangements and since this is a situation I can't influence, I don't want to waste time dwelling on it). I certainly don't want to know anything about her pregnancy and labour.

Sorry, I've gone on a bit, but any advice appreciated!

Hi

I had to write to caus eI know exactly how your feeling since being in the same situation. I have recently give birth but my husband has a step daughter. When I was pregnant it does make you think of the close bond that your partner must have gone through with thier ex when there baby was born plus you feel like it may not be as special for them as it is not all new to them like it is to you. Having these feelings is natural I think and it does not mean that you are trying to get him to ignore his past. When the time comes to have your baby these thoughts do pass. They did for me, I could then see that our babies birth was as just as special and important to him as it was to me.

YABU. I think you need to resolve issues that you have, you are being very unfair on your dh, by not allowing him to talk about his sons birth is only going to make him feel resentful, I would be very upset if I was in his shoes.

I DONT THINK URBU ! WE WENT FOR A WALK TODAY AND MY DH DECIDED TO TELL AND SHOW MY SD WERE SHE WAS CONCEVED AND IN WANT MAKE AND COLOR CAR . I WAS MORTIFIED .I HAVENT SPOKE TO HIM SCINCE AND HE DOSENT UNDERSTAND WHY IM SO UPSET !!!!! WAS BEGINING TO THINK IT WAS JUST ME . I KNOW ITS NOT QUIET THE SAME BUT AM I ?????[HMM]

you're not being unreasonable and he is being a bit insensitive. Accepting your step children does't mean you need to know about either their conception or their birth in any detail!

I think you're probably feeling insecure and hormonal but I also think it's sweet and vey positive that he has such fond memories of the birth of his son. Hopefully you will both be able to reconcile your feelings.

My DH has two kids and I really appreciate his input and often ask him if this or that is 'normal'.......

My DH is a great dad (and a great husband too, regardless of his previous 'form'!!) and I appreciate that he's been here before...

However, it's a personal thing....... I've been in my SDs lives since they were babies and did a lot of the baby stuff with my little SD, so I suppose I feel like they are part of my family already.