Hello,
Can anyone give me some guidance please. So I have been with my partner a year now, we live in separate houses, he's currently in a 2 bed flat since his second wife left and I have my house from when my ex left. He is buying a house this year and it'll be 4 bedrooms so his two children will have a room each and my kids will have W room to stay in too so they don't have to use his children's beds when we stay duen the week or make up makeshift beds on the floor with mattresses if his kids are there. They stay every Sunday and Monday.
To begin with I got in really well with them they are 7 and 9, never really a issue but now I am just noticing more. So for example they have their own sofa seperate from him so they can wiggle and do what they want yet if my kids go over they can use it if his kids aren't there but he doesn't really like it as it's 'the girls' sofa. So he's bought them bean bags and then when in the bigger house will look for perhaps another sofa, then it's chargers I can't use a phone charger W wise it's the girls charger even though it's when they aren't there. Everything has to be left in set places so toothbrushes over the taps, towels on a certain hook, their sofa however they left it. We are looking to move in together and I just find this mad. Aibu? They only eat 4 set meals donr like anything else I keep saying he really needs to get them to try new things and it helps their mum out but he doesn't so we always have the same things and it's getting boring. The eldest constantly kicks off if she doesn't get her own way or if I am holding his hand abs then makes sly digs, latest was this weekend my eldest child was kicking off so I was disciplining him and her response was 'if your nicer to your kids they would be better behaved' I was so angry. And he's been complaining as my 3 year is is struggling to eat with his mouth closed so now the daughter comments and refuses to eat her food abs it's like my son is trying. I love them to bits abs I know it's not their fault but how do I get my Partnee to see he needs to be firmer. Not give in and by takeaway as she got upset we took W picnic as we went to play golf. Doesn't help I do speak with his first wife (their mum a lot) as we do get on well abs she also finds it makes things difficult for her. He makes comments how he pays mummy all this money and she gets hers given ro her by the government and him and some work. All because he knows what I am entitled to abs he believes it's wrong we get what we get UC. Or it's just other digs his comes out with that they say to their mum. He thinks it doesn't cost much extra to have them 5 nights a week then the 2 he does so doesn't understand why we get given all this money as he puts it. I tried to show him how far it goes but he won't listen.
Don't really know what I want to get from this other than a rant ha just frustrating he comments that I drop my son to his dad yet the girls mum drop them off to him every Sunday. I am apparently not potty training my son quick enough but it's like your kids have major flaws too. Throwing tantrums as they don't get their own way, barely eat anything, stros abs doesn't go sleep when she's there so he can't talk on the phone to me. I do understand why their last step mum did find it hard. I suppose I feel so pushed to one side as he never really messages when they are there or if I do stay we can't even have sex and adult time irs just annoying