Sd mum sending her to school

[parsnipsnotsprouts]

So we have a 50/50 arrangement with sd mother. We're all key workers but I'm on mat leave. I've just found out that she's sending sd into school on the days we don't have her. I know for a fact she's part time and not in work on these days. So basically she's sending the child to school on her days off. Am I right to be annoyed by this? We have another dc and they're at home with me and new baby. Feel annoyed that sd is going into school mixing and then coming to us with a new baby when sd has no reason to be in school. I know it's not supposed to effect children much Worried about the new strains of this illness and what it might do to a very small baby.

No, you have no right to be annoyed by it.

Unless your partner doesn't work with anyone or see anyone in person as a key worker then he is just as likely as his child and the child's mother to bring Covid into your house.

Plus knowing adults and children of different ages including babies who have caught it, it is the adults who have been sick including very sick when they have got it.

Dh is an adult and capable of wearing a mask and socially distancing himself from people. Sd is a child and won't do these things

He's also largely working remotely

I don't think you are unreasonable to be annoyed about it but there isn't much you can do about it. I don't think it would be out of order for your DP to discuss the arrangements with her, given his daughter is being sent in and put at risk.

It's none of your business.

Yanbu

@aSofaNearYou I've said this. Also the school provision is really just babysitting. There's no learning going on. The school have said no formal lessons as teachers are at home. When sd comes here she will be getting home schooled along with our dc like she did previous lockdown

There's nothing you can do about it really.

You could let the school know that mum is at home in case that changes the eligibility criteria, but not sure if you want to be that person.

Your other option would be to let her come to you instead of going to school. Depends how strongly you feel about it I guess.

@justchecking1 I'm not that person. We are looking at having her an extra day but the other two days dh will be working and I'm not sure I can manage all of them on my own

Are you sure there's no proper teaching/learning at her school? Ours have said they're having to teach core subjects and provide home learning on these to those not in school, so she may well better off in school. I think that guidance only came out at some point yesterday.

I would just offer to have her instead.

You will cope as best you can.

What the mother does when its not your days is none of your business.

Some schools have requested parents either take a place or not- not just some days.

@aliloandabanana

Are you sure there's no proper teaching/learning at her school? Ours have said they're having to teach core subjects and provide home learning on these to those not in school, so she may well better off in school. I think that guidance only came out at some point yesterday.

Yes. They sent us an email stating this

My DD is a key worker.....only works 2 days a week.....school have said my GD age 5 comes in 5 days a week or not at all....school policy this time round....maybe your SD school is the same??

1stly none of your business what she does on her days, especially as this is not your child, have you lived like a hermit since March
2ndly the mother is doing nothing wrong
3rdly the teachers will be ensuring hygiene and social distancing
Finally, don't you think the child might enjoy going to school and seeing some friends. Why punish a young child by keeping her away from social interactions and building friendships It can't be much fun for kids locked up like prisoners and not understanding what is happening. At least as adults we can process it better

@Kitkat151 no they don't seem to have adopted that policy. She's currently arranged for three days

Maybe her Mum thinks it's in SD's best interests to go to school. If not for learning per se, then for other reasons.
You would be unreasonable to say you don't want SD to go because it's not in your DC's interests and then to add to that an unwillingness to provide an alternative.
I think your DH needs to have a conversation with his ex about how to balance this. But whilst I sympathise with you, it's a tricky situation if SD wants to be in school and her Mum wants that too.

@2BDIs not doing anything wrong? Of course it's wrong to send your child into school under the pretext you're in work when you're not. The school have asked children only be sent if the parents are in work. She's not.

As a lot of key workers work shifts, our local primaries have said children should be in for 5 days or not at all.

Unless you’re going to offer to have her full time you need to keep out of it. If your DH is that concerned well then he can change his working arrangements so that he can have her.

Have any of you read the bit where the mother works kart time and is sending the daughter to school on the days she is not working? The days she is working ok I suppose.

No wonder this virus will never be under control

I agree with the first poster, you have no right to be annoyed by this.

I can understand your anxiety because you have a baby, but you having a baby rightly has no influence or effect on what choices your step daughters mother makes for her. It is entirely up to her to do what she thinks is best for her child on her days and it would be incredibly infowar of you to try and change that.

If you really want your dd to stay out of school, you could offer to do the homeschooling on the days that she would be at school, but her mum probably wants her in school for a reason, and that’s up to her.

My friend works PT and her DH is a keyworker. Kids are in school 5 days a week. Best place for them I think.

schools were shut to avoid transmission impacting on older/vulnerable people. babies/most parents will be fine - I mean we dont keep kids at home when there's flu etc going around. Please dont get sucked into the craziness of it all. The aim is to protect the NHS not that kids are now all of a sudden massively impacted by this. If you are vulnerable or over 60 - then yes, try and do something about it. But if not - let it be. And yes, I say this as somebody who had Covid -it's not great - but I've also had flu, pnemonia and myriad of other things that kids bring home from school.

Sorry but none of your business. Why should her child be sat at home because of your household set up? If on your days said child is with you, so be it. She’s eligible for a place and has taken it, her reasons why are her own. She doesn’t have to explain that to you.