I've just had yet another argument with DH over his reluctance to communicate properly with his ex over arrangements for DSD.
She's due to come to us tomorrow for a week. DH had hoped to have her for a little longer as she won't be going back to school as planned, her school is not reopening immediately due to the lockdown. But once again, he hasn't actually arranged or agreed this with his ex, instead he's kicked the can down the road so that they'll end up having to have the battle while DSD is with us.
He broached the subject with his ex 2 weeks ago by email, but she just ignored his email and didn't reply. With him due to pick her up tomorrow, I had to nag him yesterday to contact his ex to discuss it, because I think it's FAR better to arrange these things beforehand rather than leave it to become an argument during handover! He eventually wrote ex an email, and she replied refusing to allow him the extra time.
He has now run out of time to really challenge it, and I'm so frustrated with him for not sorting it earlier. It's also unfair on DSD to not know how long she's coming to stay with us for.
This is a constant source of arguments for us. He doesn't have a formal consent order, and relies on ad-hoc arrangements to see his DD EOW. His ex is constantly difficult, makes him do all the travelling despite her being the one to have moved several hours drive away, and often curtails his time with DD to suit her own plans.
I've been urging him to contact a solicitor to get the ball rolling for more formal and fair arrangements. But he's dragging his arse every step of the way, and it is causing arguments.
I think it is because he's terrified of challenging her, because he's scared she will just make matters even harder for him. But that means she calls all the shots, and he has to bend to her every whim just to see his DD.
It is driving me to despair and the arguments always escalate before we see DSD, to the point that it is damaging us.