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Dss asked if he can call me Mum...

52 replies

bounce89 · 09/11/2020 21:57

I wouldn't usually consider this as I'm a firm believer of you have one mum and one dad, however, Dss is 9 and has refused to have any form of contact with mum for over 2 years. We have taken him and encouraged him to go many times but he has his own reasons (things she's said/done to him) in the past.

The other Dsc still go to their mums but only when they feel like it, the oldest (12) refused contact for 2 years previously but has started going again. I have 2 dc from a previous marriage and me and Dp have 1 child together.
We all live together and have full custody of all the children.

Tonight whilst saying goodnight Dss asked really nicely in front of all the other dc if he could call me mum, he asked previously when he was younger and I always said no because he has a mum but now he's older I'm worried that he'll feel rejected.
I do all day to day care and can understand why to him this would feel like the next step but I'm very aware that he might want to change his mind in the future and have a relationship with his mum but I'm not sure that she would ever allow it if we did take this step as she's very grudgey even towards the children.
Basically I have no idea what to do or say?
Any advice?
I can't seem to sort out my feelings on this one! I want to do what's best for him but right now DP and I can't decide what that is.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
NataliaOsipova · 10/11/2020 20:58

This is clunky - but what about something like: “Names don’t matter - relationships matter. I love you very much and you can call me whatever you’d like to”.

Dontforgetyourbrolly · 10/11/2020 21:03

It's a yes from me.
This is worlds apart from my ex dp telling my son his gf of 6 months is his step mum Hmm

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