School isolation question

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Hi,

Just putting this out there for advice and to see if anyone else had faced a similar situations.

My step son is staying for the weekend. He arrived a few hours ago. We have just received an email from school to let us know that he needs to self isolate for 2 weeks as there has been a positive case in his year group and he has been in contact with them. He lives in a high infection area with local lockdown arrangements in place.

I have 2 other children (aged 14 and 11) who are at a different school about 10 miles away. So far there are no identified positive cases at their school.

He was supposed to be staying with us until Sunday, however I think it would be best for him to return home tomorrow to start his isolation period rather than staying with his step sisters until Sunday evening to mitigate any possible risk of spreading just in case.

My husband thinks I am being mean and unreasonable by not suggesting he returns home as we are part of his bubble which of course we are. I am worried about the potential risk of a spread to a less infected area and more potential contact with others. He is suggesting that I am putting my daughters first and not considering his feelings and I will make him feel bad by suggesting he starts his isolation period at home.

Am I being unreasonable? Any advice appreciated!

Yes, going back to his main residence is for the best for everyone. Just because he was there for 24 hours doesn't mean the girls will have already got it, if he has it, but the longer he's there the more chance there is if him passing it on. Then 2 more classses of kids & their families are at risk.

Obviously if his Mum would struggle with looking after him fir two weeks (like needing to go out to work) then his Dad needs to step in & just take precautions against bringing it back to your home.

There are ways to explain it so that he won't feel 'pushed out'

I think you've done the right thing.

Why should the resident parent be the default parent who should sort out the two weeks at home? Is it nothing to do with the NRP?

Its clear that if there is a positive case in school only the child in that year needs to isolate for 2 weeks, the rest of the household doesn't uess they show symptoms.

Its not a get out of jail card for negating all responsibility during this trying time.

The fact he has no clothes or personal items at your house is very telling.

We are definitely not trying to negate any responsibility. My SS has been in my life for ten years and is happy and well cared for in both homes. He has a room of his own in our house with toys and books and clothes but obviously has more (and a desk and place to work) in his primary residence. I came on mums net to ask for opinions as I was genuinely stumped what to do for the best for everyone. This pandemic has thrown up so many complications that impact on all of us. Step families included. There was no advice on any websites for what to do in this situation. I won’t be asking for help from mums net again. There are some huge judgements here about our situation and what’s right or wrong. I came for advice and have been made to feel worse

You said he had no items at your house. I got that impression from what you wrote. There is clear guidance on what to do. I'm struggling to understand why you are saying there isn't. Both parents are responsible for the child therefore both parents need to discuss what is best overall. I've been left to deal with lockdown and two kids on my own because my ex doesn't want to catch covid. I don't want to catch it (I'm vulnerable after a brain hemorrhage in February) but as a parent I don't have the luxury of negating my responsibilities. Your DH is doing the right thing.

@Chucklecheeks01 no she didn’t, she said he had no school books or clothes to last 2 weeks. Where on earth does it say he has no items?!
My SCs don’t have enough clothes to last 2 weeks at our house either, 2-3 outfits & pjs maybe because they’re older and prefer to bring their clothes back and forth. OP’s SS must be at least 11 if she’s been in his life for over 10 years.
Get a grip and stop being mean.

OP my SCs would want to go home to their mum rather than stay here for 2 weeks and my DCs would rather be with me than their dad if it was for an extended period. I get it.
Kids generally have more things and are more comfortable in their primary residence. Also I know if my kids get poorly (which is a good possibility with your SS) then all they want is their mummy.
I think you’ve done the right thing.

I don't think you're being mean, your trying to take steps to mitigate spread (i.e. what we need to do).

That said, I'd ring NHS 111 if I were you to get advice as I'm not sure if you'd need to isolate now? Presumably, if he was (god forbid) infected, that means he might pass this onto your household during this time which puts you all at risk? In which case, he should stay put and not take it to another household (unless they are deemed to already have been exposed as he's been at home until now?).

There should be advice on these situations, it's really difficult to know what to do for the best.