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Step-parenting

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Original poster

School isolation question

33 replies

Create44 · 19/09/2020 00:35

Hi,

Just putting this out there for advice and to see if anyone else had faced a similar situations.

My step son is staying for the weekend. He arrived a few hours ago. We have just received an email from school to let us know that he needs to self isolate for 2 weeks as there has been a positive case in his year group and he has been in contact with them. He lives in a high infection area with local lockdown arrangements in place.

I have 2 other children (aged 14 and 11) who are at a different school about 10 miles away. So far there are no identified positive cases at their school.

He was supposed to be staying with us until Sunday, however I think it would be best for him to return home tomorrow to start his isolation period rather than staying with his step sisters until Sunday evening to mitigate any possible risk of spreading just in case.

My husband thinks I am being mean and unreasonable by not suggesting he returns home as we are part of his bubble which of course we are. I am worried about the potential risk of a spread to a less infected area and more potential contact with others. He is suggesting that I am putting my daughters first and not considering his feelings and I will make him feel bad by suggesting he starts his isolation period at home.

Am I being unreasonable? Any advice appreciated!

OP posts:
SBTLove · 19/09/2020 00:39

My friends DD had a positive child in one of her classes and had to isolate 10 days and get a test. I’d be taking him home first thing.

Original poster
Create44 · 19/09/2020 00:46

Thankyou for responding. I would do the same if it was the other way around - I would keep the girls away from anyone in the family just in case

OP posts:
Magda72 · 19/09/2020 00:53

I too would have sent him home straight away. Covid does not adhere to normal circumstances & during this time we are all having to make individual sacrifices to ensure the majority stay safe.
Your dh is being an ass - sorry - & is not seeing either the bigger picture or social responsibility.

Original poster
Create44 · 19/09/2020 01:01

Thanks. Good to hear other views. It’s hard to see the wood for the trees when the step parenting relationship is questioned. In my mind it’s nothing to do with that. I would ask anyone to return home no matter how much I cared about them

OP posts:
MeridianB · 19/09/2020 06:33

Agree best to take him back first thing. Make sure he knows that it’s nothing he’s done and you will all miss him.

He happens to be in a high infection area. This is not about picking favourites, it’s about keeping everyone safe and avoiding spread to hundreds of children and their families in a different school.

disconnecteddrifter · 19/09/2020 07:31

Surely if he is already with you he needs to isolate for two weeks with you and not go anywhere else at all?

FloweringFlowers · 19/09/2020 07:35

I think he needs to stay with his dad/you for the 2 weeks, he’s there now why spread it to another household, if he has it.

Justmemyselfandi999 · 19/09/2020 07:38

Moving him to another household is pointless, exposure has already occurred. And the government does not want anyone else in the household including siblings at other schools to isolate. Your husband is correct, no need to move him.

FippertyGibbett · 19/09/2020 07:39

He has already stayed a night so sending him home will make no difference to you and your children.

NewIdeasToday · 19/09/2020 07:47

If he’s with you now surely he should stay and your whole household needs to self isolate with him for two weeks.

lunar1 · 19/09/2020 08:02

He's with you though, he should stay where he is for the isolation period and not move around. If he was with his mum when he got the news then he would have stayed there.

FippertyGibbett · 19/09/2020 08:03

Only the child needs to isolate, not the whole household.

SimonJT · 19/09/2020 08:05

@lunar1

He's with you though, he should stay where he is for the isolation period and not move around. If he was with his mum when he got the news then he would have stayed there.
This
Twickerhun · 19/09/2020 08:08

Gosh you can’t send him back. Kids with separated parents can still spilt between two households. You have to suck it up. He’s part of your family too. I say this as a step mum

Codexdivinchi · 19/09/2020 08:15

He is already there. Absolutely pointless.

Original poster
Create44 · 19/09/2020 09:50

My husband has taken him home more because of logistics and practicalities. He has no school books or clothes to last 2 weeks. It’s so tricky to navigate the whole situation with no blueprint for any of these scenarios.

OP posts:
disconnecteddrifter · 19/09/2020 10:31

To be honest if my partner sent my child off when I could have had him for two weeks and now was unable to see him for two weeks I'd be heartbroken

excelledyourself · 19/09/2020 10:45

Your partner should have collected his things, not sent him back to his mum like a leper

Original poster
Create44 · 19/09/2020 10:51

If it was the other way around I would want my ex to bring my daughters home to isolate. I wouldn't want to not see them for 2 weeks. The intention was not to make him feel bad

OP posts:
excelledyourself · 19/09/2020 10:57

It shouldn't always be about what you want.

aSofaNearYou · 19/09/2020 11:01

If my step son had been in this position, he would definitely have preferred to go back to his mum's, as it's his primary residence.

I don't see why it's necessary to give OP a hard time as though she has been mean to the boy.

Original poster
Create44 · 19/09/2020 11:04

I completely agree it's not about what I want. All his stuff is in his home and he would be more comfortable there if it's an extended period of time.

OP posts:
Twickerhun · 19/09/2020 12:42

He’s allowed to move between the two houses. It’s not all or nothing

OverTheRainbow88 · 19/09/2020 12:59

@NewIdeasToday

If he’s with you now surely he should stay and your whole household needs to self isolate with him for two weeks.

That is just wrong, please get it right if you are going to comment

Original poster
Create44 · 19/09/2020 13:04

The letter from the school stated that just he needs to isolate. No one else in the household needs to unless they develop symptoms.

OP posts: