Meeting mum of step son

[ifeelsickwithnerves]

My husband and I have known each other over 25 years and dated years ago for 3 years before we went our separate ways for work. I have been back in his life for 3 years and we got married a while ago. Anyway, I told my husband out of courtesy he should tell his ex about us for the sake of his 7 year old that comes to us every other weekend. He didn't because he was frightened she would stop him from seeing his son.

Anyway this weekend step son goes home and says that Daddy and I have a new house (we moved as lockdown hit so this is the first time he has seen it) and was explaining to his Mum that he has a new room and that he has a gaming room and that Daddy and I have our own room. Que husband (he knows he's a twat) getting a call to ask if we were together which he answered truthfully, and then 10 minutes later getting another call asking if we are married because there is a wedding photo on the wall that dss has mentioned, of which he also did not deny.

Now next time we have dss his Mum wants to meet me, and although rationally I know she is only concerned with the welfare of her son and I completely understand why she wants to meet me it is making me irrationally nervous.

DSS only calls me by my first name here, neither my husband or I have said anything other than I am DSS friend if he asks about the relationship between he and I. We have great fun, go on woodland adventures, bake cakes all that jazz. He really is a cracking kid and she is doing an amazing job bringing him up.

So to ease my nerves can anyone give me an idea of what I should expect questions wise please. I mean I don't really know what to expect because from my point of view as long as my child was happy and healthy when at Daddy's I wouldn't be worried.

Is this a reverse?

Personally I don't think she has a right to be fuming she wasn't personally informed of any of these things, but it is very, very odd to have lied to your step son about what was going on. He's 7, not a baby, why couldn't you just tell him you were in a relationship? He was surely always going to eventually find out and mention it to her?

I don't understand what your husband was thinking here. But to answer your question, you really don't have to meet her (full stop, regardless of circumstances). Your husband needs to be contacting her to try and smooth things over himself.

This is batshit!

Were you kept secret because you were the cause of their break-up?

OP wasn't expecting this reaction and has scarpered!

Why has he not told her before? Is she abusive or likely to have stopped contact?
If not then his is horrendous behaviour on your DH’s part. I could not imagine hiding my engagement let alone marriage from my ex.
In fact, outside of my close friends and family one of the first people I told was my ex so he was aware of the situation his DC was in.

This is very strange and I don’t blame her for wanting to meet her child’s stepmother, you must be spending a considerable amount of time with her child

If I was mum I'd be furious with my ex for not even telling our son that he'd remarried. I'd be asking why son wasn't at wedding and why he couldn't just tell her in a quick text or whatever.