Active discussions

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Step-parenting

Connect with other Mumsnetters here for step-parenting advice and support.

Original poster

Erm this is a weird one?

61 replies

Che3se · 11/06/2020 09:40

I've been told by DH that he feels like I love my dog more than the rest of the family (him and his kids)....?!

I admit, I do love my dog an awful lot. I got him when I was going through a very bad time with depression, I was suicidal, on heavy ADs, seeing counsellors etc and I genuinely do credit him with saving my life at the time. I spend a lot of time out on walks with him and I found I enjoyed getting into training etc.., so I'd say essentially he is my hobby in a way.

I'm not really sure what to say to DH. I think he's being really weird about it, almost jealous of a pet? I obviously don't love the dog more than DH but I do coo over him more because DH is a human adult 😂. If I'm being honest here, I do love the dog more than his children (they weren't babies when we met) but I wouldn't ever say that to him and we have a perfectly good relationship, me and the kids. I'm not really sure what he wants me to do?!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
SimonJT · 11/06/2020 11:23

I love my cat more than my boyfriend, I also love my puppy (who I have had a week) more than him 😂

My cat gives me cuddles on demand, she also thinks I’m amazing (she obviously has good taste!), I slept on the sofa most of last week so my puppy wouldn’t be lonely at night.

Windyatthebeach · 11/06/2020 11:28

My exh and I both chose our ddog. He did indeed become very envious of my relationship with her. In time he started becoming not so nice to her... I watched her like a hawk tbh. I hope your post is light hearted op...
Exh now... Ddog had 8 peaceful years before she died.

YetAnotherSpartacus · 11/06/2020 11:32

Yeah, team dog here and I actually don't really care for dogs.

Glendaruel · 11/06/2020 11:36

Think it's natural. My dog is sleeping next to my feet and I always think she is what helped my mental health. She is also more dependent on me than my fiance. if she does something wrong I know she didn't mean it, or forgot herself for a second. Fortunately, he loves her as much as me.

Kittio · 11/06/2020 11:40

That's a gorgeous dog. Anyone would be mad about him

sassbott · 11/06/2020 12:29

Was it said in jest? Or was he serious?
Cutest dog ever by the way!

LaurieFairyCake · 11/06/2020 12:34

That dog is stupidly pretty 😍

I've fucked uglier

averythinline · 11/06/2020 12:44

That dog is gorgeous, I do feel sorry for your dh as he is unlikely to be that cute...
What sort of dog is it??? I need a dog like that ... although knowing my luck the dog would prefer dh as he's an animal magnet !

Maybe you may need to talk about what's making him feel like that ... but there is no reason why you should love his dc more than your dog!

MagnoliaJustice · 11/06/2020 12:56

What a fabulous dog. Definitely more lovable than any human.

Loyaultemelie · 11/06/2020 13:00

Sorry Dh and kids but yep I'd probably love your dog more too Grin. Dhs late dog almost caused divorce in this house but he wasn't a nice dog like yours (or indeed the rest of ours) but it seemed dh loved him more than dcs

TaighNamGastaOrt · 11/06/2020 13:05

Similar to situation when I met dh. Ddog had seen me through depression and rough times before I met him. We were a team. Adv DH not to make me choose between them! She was my best friend and the reason I got up in the mornings.
I prefer your dog to my DH right now.

Iwalkinmyclothing · 11/06/2020 13:05

If I'm being honest here, I do love the dog more than his children (they weren't babies when we met) but I wouldn't ever say that to him

Doesn't sound like you need to say it, you're clearly making it obvious whether you think so or not, because otherwise how would he know?

howdidigettobe50something · 11/06/2020 13:46

... Another vote for the beautiful dog! Sorry husband, but he doesn't stand a chance with that kind of competition 😳

Bluearsedfly36 · 11/06/2020 13:52

I vote for the dog too 😁 what a cutie.

Bluearsedfly36 · 11/06/2020 13:56

Hope the picture shows but here's my latest addition and I must say he's very cute.

Erm this is a weird one?
MellowBird85 · 11/06/2020 13:56

I find it weird when people expect their partners to love their kids like they do. I mean, just because DH loves his parents doesn’t mean I do. I’m fond of them...but love? No.

Beautiful doggo btw.

Sk1nnyB1tch · 11/06/2020 14:01

Your dog is adorable ❤️
Who wouldn't love that dog more!
My husband loves his dog as much if not more than me. I'm not jealous, it's a dog!

FigureOfSpooch · 11/06/2020 14:17

@Iwalkinmyclothing

If I'm being honest here, I do love the dog more than his children (they weren't babies when we met) but I wouldn't ever say that to him

Doesn't sound like you need to say it, you're clearly making it obvious whether you think so or not, because otherwise how would he know?

Tbh, why would it matter? OP is not obliged to love her husband's kids as if they were her own. Her dog is her own dependant thing to love and look after, her husband's kids are his.

Especially if they are older, I don't think it's necessary for step parents to outwardly shower their SCs with love and affection. I'd think it'd be fairly obvious that someone who had a dog (and such a bloody lovely one at that 😍) who saw them through such a hard time, saved their life, and with which they spend so much time with would probably love that animal more than someone else's kids they didn't meet as young children. Don't think there is anything wrong with that personally. You can feel very intense love for animals.

Original poster
Che3se · 11/06/2020 14:33

Wow so much love for my boy Smile he is very lovely if I may say so myself!

This was sort of light-hearted sort of not as DH is serious when he says it. We haven't fallen out or anything but he does mean it when he says he doesn't feel as loved as the dog.

I'll hold my hands up, the dog gets a lot of my attention, because I do enjoy spending time with him, he gets me out on walks and adventures, he was the only thing I had for a long time and I do fuss over him. Of course I love DH but I don't see why I need to fuss over him like a pet 😂 unless he really does want me to pat his head and tell him what a good boy he's been.

He loves the dog too, he would never be cruel to him. I think he is jealous but plays it off in a light-hearted but not kind of way.

I just think well he has his children that I'm assuming he loves a lot more than me! Or at least in a different way than he loves me. Why does it have to be so different?

My step kids are older, just starting out in their teens nearly. So no I don't give them loads of cuddles and huge outward displays of love but then I doubt very much that they'd want me to anyway, they only just about tolerate a hug from their dad these days! They love Ddog too and they know I care for them so I don't really see why it matters anyway even if it is obvious.

OP posts:
Original poster
Che3se · 11/06/2020 14:35

@Bluearsedfly36

Hope the picture shows but here's my latest addition and I must say he's very cute.
Absolutely beautiful 😍
OP posts:
Original poster
Che3se · 11/06/2020 14:40

And he is a Cocker Spaniel (working type) for those asking Smile

OP posts:
Bluearsedfly36 · 11/06/2020 15:05

@Che3se he is a cocker too, we also have his dad and two other dogs 😬 he's 11 weeks atm. Here is his dad.

Erm this is a weird one?
UncleShady · 11/06/2020 15:10

Of course I love DH but I don't see why I need to fuss over him like a pet 😂 unless he really does want me to pat his head and tell him what a good boy he's been

It's worth a try Grin

OhCaptain · 11/06/2020 17:17

@Bluearsedfly36 I have never wanted to kidnap a dog so much in my life!

Bluearsedfly36 · 11/06/2020 17:22

@OhCaptain which one? Grin I don't think OH will let you. There's a grumpy patterdale terrier and lab collie x up for grabs though WinkGrin