Hi everyone,
I'll try to explain this as best I can but I'm a bit upset so if I'm all over place I apologise!!
My partner has two children from a previous relationship, youngest is 7.
In the last few weeks, we've noticed a significant decline in the youngest one's behaviour such as lack of manners, not doing as she is told etc. We've also noticed a massive regression in the fact she acts and behaves more like a toddler than someone of her age. The last time she was here she defecated herself twice and wet herself, both times she was fully awake and we don't believe it's a medical issue causing it.
It all came to a head when my partner was speaking to his ex today and she told him that the youngest had said that I was intentionally putting things in her food she didn't like and making her eat it. She has then told her mum that she's told me she doesn't like it and I've apparently said 'tough, don't be a fussy eater'.
What really happened was I put some seasoning on some food a few months ago, not knowing that she didn't like it.
She refused to eat it and I made something else and have made a conscious effort not to use the seasoning again. We are having a real battle with her over food at the minute, I've gone as far as to take her shopping with me so she can choose what she likes. I've then made it for her and she's refused to eat it saying she doesn't like it! At this point I have said to her she is being fussy and I won't stand for it.
I know it's only a small lie, but it's hurt me deeply that she's going to her mother making out that I am intentionally putting things she doesn't like in front of her and forcing her to eat it. It also makes me deeply anxious to be left alone with her because if she is going to lie about something like that, what is stopping her from lying about something bigger?
I tried to talk to my partner about it and he got very defensive and told me to sort it out myself and speak to the youngest when she comes here again about it. I've told him I don't feel comfortable and he's lost his temper and said that I'm 'pushing everything on him' because I've asked him to speak to their mother about what's been happening. He has also said that the youngest has lied about things he had said or done and she does lie about things that happened at her mums. He's even acknowledged and described her behaviour as being manipulative, but doesn't want to do anything about it.
I'm now dreading the kids coming because I spend the majority of my time with them on my own and I'm so worried about her coming up with more lies just because I've told her off.
To top it off, I recently found out I am pregnant with my first child and I've had to beg my other half not to tell the kids because I think it's going to cause the youngest's behaviour to worsen.
I'm just so upset and I don't know what to do.