Tell me what you like about being a stepmum

[C1239]

Just that really, there isn’t much positivity around stepparenting... let’s focus on the positives! What do you like about being a stepparent? Are you proud of the stepparent you have become?

Getting to be close to children and watch them grow up without having had to wipe their bums, insist they eat vegetables and fill in school forms.

Having an excuse to go on adventure playgrounds

Coordinating our fancy dress outfits for festivals

An excuse to make unhealthy desserts and cakes "as a treat for the children"

They are both lovely girls and as they get older I am enjoying their company more

Having a balance of couple and family time

Thats a really lovely reply 😄

Seeing the bond between DSD and baby DS develop has been amazing. It’s mutual adoration and she can’t do enough for him. She’s 8

Also, agree with above about adventure playgrounds. I thoroughly enjoyed being dads cool friend who absolutely HAD to join her in softplay for hide and seek etc.

Seeing the bond our ds has with his two big sisters is priceless. They adore each other and have taught him so much, I will be forever grateful.

I guess getting to know my step children first showed me what a great dad my partner would be to my first child, also as I only want one I love that my son has ready made sibling albeit much older :)

Absolutely nothing.

Nada

Seeing my partner being a great dad.
Seeing his little girl grow and develop. It’s fun to see her learn new stuff and to help along the way.
Hugs, hearts everywhere, being silly together.

Having a young lady in my life when I never had a daughter !

Well; you get most of the fathers looking for a babysitter(stepmothers) to look after their own children because in really they can’t cope; they couldn’t do it when they were with the children’ mother; most of men are selfish and I’m a stepmother here

Did you read the OP’s question. Why not start your own thread if you need to have a moan.

Personally I can see very little positive in being a step parent, especially a step mother. I think this is mainly because of dad’s attitudes, usually motivated by guilt. I’ve been a step mother for 18 months and have known the stepkids for 3 years. They’re now 10 and 13. Their mum died over 4 years ago. Dad can’t bear to set boundaries, show them how to do stuff, have nice manners. I have an adoptive family as my own mum was abusive so I really do get how it feels to have an empty space when your own mum isn’t there for whatever reason. I love and care for my stepkids as I would for any children but I’m also realistic that my input is not welcomed or appreciated. Nothing could be sadder to me than watching these kids grow up with few values about kindness, gratitude, sharing, being a team. It wasn’t how I was with my adoptive mother or my own adult child. Fortunately for me, it’s my third marriage after being widowed and I’m older and more realistic about life/relationships/people. I’m present and involved at home but I make sure I live my life on my terms and with my own interests as well. That means doing things away from the step family set up to keep my sanity. Maybe things will turn out ok in the long term, when DSKs are adults. Till then, I feel it’s a sad and thankless situation. Sorry to have no positives to report!

I feel I have become a much better stepparent since having my own DD. DSD is an amazing big sister and she and DD have a great bond which is so lovely to see. DSD is growing into a lovely young lady and whilst it has taken years I feel like we have a better bond. Reading the above, I think it helps in my situation that DP is not a Disney Dad, is fully engaged and the one that does the ferrying around etc and is in many ways the stricter parent than me. There have been ups and downs through the years and sometimes I think these also reflected whether there was any negativity coming from DSD’s Mum.

I’m a step kid myself and this journey makes me realise I was not the ideal stepchild!!!!! It’s an evolving journey but for now we are on an upturn and that feels good!

Nothing!

Seeing my DH being such a devoted Dad.

Nothing

God some people like to piss on other people’s bonfires.

I’ve learnt a lot about supercars, Romans, Celts, rocks and stones, our earliest kings and queens, cake decoration. Their questions are legendarily hard to answer and I find myself swatting up on their ever-changing interests so I don’t have to admit I don’t know stuff too often

I’ve learnt a lot about children and how to be a parent. I’ve read a lot of parenting books.

I’ve seen DH being an incredible dad to them.

Nothing. It’s an absolutely thankless task.

DSC conflicted and a bitter EW who uses the kids as a battering ram.

No one is forced to be a step parent.

I love and like my stepdaughter; I’m fully aware that the love doesn’t always happen but she’s a lot of fun and I like spending time with her. She’s now nearly a teenager but when she was younger I used to like doing the kids stuff of theme parks and days out that she’s now grown out of a bit.
There are difficult parts but those are primarily about her mum (and my DH who is not blameless)

Watching all our DC getting on well together. Teaching my DSC to cook (their mum isn’t a fan of cooking)
Going places and doing things with them that my own DC aren’t interested in (When my DC are with their dad)

It can be a thankless job sometimes....but so can raising your own DC. I don’t think anyone’s experiences are the same as anyone else’s. I’ve had days when I could literally pull my hair because of my SC but I’ve had those days with my DC too.
I’d like to think that generally, we’re a happy, well adjusted ‘blended family’

Yes it can be thankless but having amazing young people in my life who look to me with appreciation, look to you for support and share their joys and fears, all the hard work sometimes can be a privilege. I've known my DSC for over ten years and they are a joy ( but also still teenagers.....)

Seeing how good a father my OH is and that he always puts family (meaning both of us) before anything else.

My SS also really likes me and I like and love him. He always asks me to do things with him and if I say something about being with dad/when he's at dad's house he'll always say "and you too". I don't do the major parenting in the house obviously but I like that SS has little flashes of me in him now, just because I've been in his life since he was one. I'm only talking hobbies, and food likes etc, but it's sweet to see.

Having a stepchild is hard, and sometimes I want to run away for a day, but I feel so sorry for those who are saying nothing is enjoyable.