Judging each other's parenting

[Wishiwas20again]

Moved in with DP at the end of last year. Lockdown has not helped us settle into a routine at all, and I'm trying to take things day by day at the moment, but going forward I don't know if I can stop the feeling of DP judging me and my DC for 'negative' (for want of a better word) behaviour
and similarly, me judging him and his DC.

I feel we are so protective of our own children that it is affecting our relationship because resentment of the actions of the 'other' DC and DP are getting in the way.

How can I stop this feeling? Has anybody got any ideas on how we can be more of a team rather than them and us?
Thank you

I think you need to sit down with your partner and have a chat to set out house rules for the whole family. In out house with step children and own children we all live by the same rules, parents included. We have regular family meetings where everyone can have an input and we make rules together, including the kids making them for the adults. Everyone then has the same boundaries. Instead of doing things seprrate with the kids, do family activities with all of you when your son is spending the time with you. That way he will feel part of a bigger family and not like two separate families living together

Just realised how hippy that makes my family sound. Believe me, we are still just as dysfunctional as the next family