Stop my h seeing his daughter

[lovemylifq]

Hi just after advice my partner has a 5 year old who stays with us two nights a week now me and my partner have just had a new born now 4 weeks old I'm worried that sd will be due to come stay at ours as her mother hasn't been staying at home. What shall I do? I'm so worried I'm losing sleep. Do I say we cant Have ds until lockdown is over

[Electrical]

What’s a ‘bee mum’? 😂

[funinthesun19]

It was a typo it was meant to say “new mum”.

[Willyoujustbequiet]

Gov guidelines dont say contact should take place at all. They say it can but doesn't have to. It entirely depends on the individual circumstances

[user47000000000]

That’s the issue isn’t it where the parents don’t agree :(

My ex thinks I am being really OTT

[bogoffmda]

And when I suggested the NRP keep the DSC I was crucified and the thread pulled!

[offlikeabanger]

That was hardly the same and you know it @bogoffmda

[MadameJosephine]

It’s not your decision I’m afraid, you shouldn’t get ‘stop’ your DH seeing his child. By all means you can both have a conversation with the child’s mother and together you can decide what it is her best interest but I don’t think you should get to force the choice either way. I believe current rules allow for children to travel between homes of custody is shared but my ex and I have decided together that DD will stay with me for the time being and she FaceTimes her dad every morning and evening but that’s more because he lives with his 83 yo father and I work in a hospital so we’d be putting his dad at risk

[NowSissyThatWalk]

This forum is so hilariously hypocritical at times.

[bogoffmda]

How was it not the same - if the DC is at risk they stay with the parent with less risk.
I accept we should have discussed first but what we did is no different to the mothers who keep their DCS just the reverse.

[offlikeabanger]

It was the fact your DP didn't discuss. You and your DP decided between you that you were keeping them, when you only usually have them EOW, and then had the cheek to say you were providing her with "free childcare", which she hadn't asked for, and then demanded she pay you for the privilege as you were shocked to discover they eat more.

[ChocolateTea]

I'm a resident mother, and have decided DC will not be going to their dads currently. They have a sister there who is very vulnerable. I'm sure if her stepmother posted here about that, she'd be torn a new one, but actually this was a decision between me and my ex. He's devastated, he's had them weekly for 10 years. But it's short term pain for long term gain imo. And they keep in touch via the Internet - in fact they've spoken to him more this week than ever, so is actually building a stronger relationship.

I think with a newborn, you are perfectly acceptable in saying no for the lockdown period of 2-12 weeks. Use facetime etc.

[user47000000000]

How is it going op?

[nellythenarwhal]

This is an issue where you'll be crucified if you post as a stepparent but praised if you post as a parent- especially if you're the parent not seeing your child for a while.

My children are teenagers but not seeing their Dad as he lives with a person with poor health.

Our child had a birthday this week and he dropped off the gift and stayed in the car to speak with him. Sad but rather that than someone getting ill.

I hope that your h has considered things more

[lovemylifq]

Thank you for everyone's replies, we have taken the discussion to stop SD coming to the house we are lucky enough to have quite abit of land with sheep and horses at our house which we own so my d is still seeing her there and changing his clothes when hes comes home

[user47000000000]

Glad you’ve got something you’re happy with. Is he staying 2m away from her? Otherwise your plan is pretty futile...