Maintaining contact after split. What do you think?

[tryingtodowhatsbest]

Me and my exp separated about a month ago after a long term relationship of 10 years. 4 children together and he has 1 child with his ex wife.

I just don’t know what to do in order to keep everyone happy when maintaining relationships.
His ex has asked if my (former?) dsc can stay over at mine every other Friday night as my ex works Saturdays so it would mean he leaves early Saturday morning and although the child is 14 and perfectly ok being left alone, it’s a new environment.

I mean, I’m ok with this. I think. And it’s good for the children to still see each other. But is it expecting too much of me to maintain a permanent arrangement? Is it even normal? Eventually I do want to rearrange bedrooms so that my own children aren’t as cramped together, and I don’t want anyone to be offended or hurt by this. Maybe in the Spring time.

What would you do going forward?

[Jayneisapain]

I'd say the right way is regular planned contact or you risk just losing contact completely- teenagers will go through that phase where they lose interest in adults. If it also suits his parents then great - unless there is a specific reason why you would want to shoot yourself in the foot just to inconvenience them? Say yes and ask them to supply some food for him. Job done.

[GiveHerHellFromUs]

@Jayneisapain he is brother to her children - she's not going to lose contact.

[justilou1]

He might be brother to her children, and she has probably been doing the hard yards as the stepmum for the last ten years, which means the EXH and his first EXW will now no doubt gang up against her. I think this has a lot of potential to go to shit really quickly, with OP being used as a mug babysitter, being guilt-tripped into extra-babysitting, as it is highly unlikely that agreed pickup times would be respected or adhered to, nor would babysitting be reciprocated or expected. OP is going to be knackered enough as a single mother to her own kids! I think they have a lot of nerve to ask, to be quite frank - especially as they are not suggesting financial reimbursement. If you were to entertain the idea, I would suggest you find out the going hourly rate for an overnight nanny and suggest that as a STARTING rate, then add in food, etc.... See what they think of the idea then!

[IdiotInDisguise]

Well, another option to suggest is that first ex wife invites ALL the children every Friday or you take turns.

[IdiotInDisguise]

Or dad takes them all out together in the weekend and some times, if you can afford it, you can have DSS to stay afterwards.