Why do step mums always get the crap!

[Adele2204]

Why is it that step mums always get labelled as being the bitch!
I'm fed up completely in my relationship at the moment. We are a blended family... kids on my side 1 ds 20 doesn't live with us, 1 dd 16 lives with me. Him - 1, 26 dd doesn't live with us 2 kids of her own, 2 previous step daughters aged 20 & 18 did live with us have now moved out. 1 17 year old son recently moved out. 1 14 ds lives with us and a 10 yr old son also at home and dd 9 lives with us.... yes it's complicated!
The kids haven't had a great start hence why dad has custody and we've been together for 6.5 years.
Everytime something happens it's always my fault - every time. For instance 17 year old oh ds sold his contract phone to a drug dealer & left our home and now for some strange reason it's been turned round that I've kicked him out!!!! 14 year old now jumped on the band wagon and has been kicked out of school because he has 0 respect for the teachers tells them what he thinks of them with expletives and doesn't care one bit and somehow now that's my fault also!

When I read the posts on here basically it's like if you're a step mum you've to take all the crap on the chin..... you couldn't possibly ask your partner to even consider your feelings over the kids because if you do your unreasonable and you've to smile & wave at scenario because you don't have a right to say anything because your not the biological parent.......

I'm telling you now I've had every situation possible with step kids and let me tell all you step mums the truth... yes it's a nightmare and yes your normal to start to resent things and yes you will come out the other side......

Sorry for ranting 😤😤😤

I got feed up of being the bad guy in my family.
So now I look the kids in the face, say you know that is not true and walk away, if they continue I got to the loo, weather I need to or not.

@mummmy2017 that's my intentions.... I'm going to give it a go of the whole not accepting the blame and go from there. Thank you x

No you aren't teaching them to walk away when things get tough you are teaching your kids that you tried your damn hardest but it still wasn't good enough for these people!

I'd rather teach my kids to get away from a hot mess that won't improve and be independent, so they don't make excuses to stay in such a relationship.

I would rather my child not be around this whole dysfunctional situation, where she sees her mum's partner, say nothing, while his DD slags her off.

The longer a child stays in this situation, the greater the impact on them.

If your DD sees you taking crap...she may see this as the norm of what a relationship is. Is this the kind of relationship you'd like her to be in? Is it a role model relationship?

I think it comes down to the individual standards we set for ourselves tbh and the level of crap any individual us willing to tolerate. This is what makes us unique.