Bedrooms advice please

[Tyersal]

I appreciate this might not be the best place to get unbiased advice and I might get shot down but just wondering what others thoughts are on this or if anyone has been in a similar situation and found a solution.

In brief OH and I currently live in a 2 bed detached house, we have a v small mortgage with only 10 years left on it. Our bedrooms are 2 good sized doubles and currently his kids share the second room, they are boy and girl, 3 and 7 and stay with us one weekend night every week.

Last year we put the house up for sale but with no success, lots of viewing but the lack of a driveway put people off and the housing market is currently very slow in our area so we paid a lump sum off the mortgage and decide to wait a year. OH is now talking about putting the house up for sale again next year as he wants 3 bedrooms for his kids to have a room each, he also wants those rooms to be of equal size. I am not against the idea but we both agree that we don’t want to move from a detached house (OH plays piano and guitar and I am up v early for work) and anything 3 bed fitting our criteria will mean more than doubling our current mortgage and adding 5 years to the term, this will mean we will be paying a further £250-300 a month in mortgage payments plus extra council tax heating etc (it will also mean more cleaning for me as OH does bugger all around the house but that is a whole other thread!)

I am concerned it is a lot of extra outgoing money each month in order to have a driveway and the kids to have a room each when the rooms are only used for 10 hours a week and the rest of the time will be sat empty. I have suggested that instead the kids room could be divided somehow with screens or panels (I haven’t looked into the options in detail yet but know they exist). OH isn’t too sure about this and it is only an idea at this stage anyway I just wondered if anyone had managed this successfully?

[Witchydearest]

Spend your money on gin and sweets

[MrsDimmond]

Shared room sounds absolutely fine especially for just 1 night a week. And if privacy needed at some point those bunk bed dividers look fantastic!

[blackcat86]

Do you have room for a futon or sofa bed in your conservatory or could you replace your usual sofa with one? Then either the oldest kid takes the sofa bed/futon or you two do and they sleep in your bed on the nights they are there. At 3 and 7 it isnt as much of an issue but as puberty approaches they will want more privacy.

[MyDcAreMarvel]

So he is a decent enough dad to want to give his children seperate rooms but not to have them more than once a week. Why?

[Mooncupblues]

This looks good too.

[Helmlover1]

Why do people always presume that it’s the dad that doesn’t want more contact with his kids? Ever thought that it could be the mother that could be restricting contact? (first hand experience of this) or he could be following contact arrangements set out by a court order?

Some people are so narrow-minded.

[hsegfiugseskufh]

There's no way id double my mortgage for 10 hours a week. I think dividers are you best bet. It can look really lovely and they'll have their own space.

[Tyersal]

That looks good mooncupblues thank you

[SavingSpaces2019]

this will mean we will be paying a further £250-300 a month in mortgage payments plus extra council tax heating etc (it will also mean more cleaning for me as OH does bugger all around the house but that is a whole other thread!)

So basically he wants YOU to help finance a better lifestyle for HIS children?
What do YOU get out of this?
He hasn't even been pulling his weight regards housework thus far and now wants you to give away even more of your money, dignity and self respect?

Wake up woman!

[Rainbowhairdontcare]

Well as someone one printed out, if you buy now, you'll end up with a bigger investment. What would you do with those £300 that go to that extra room otherwise? I think it's worth it. And I personally have been against my SS who yes spends 10-12 nights per month with us (so a lot more) having his own room when he could share with the baby. In then end it's an investment!

[Tyersal]

@rainbowhairdontcare sadly it's not money we have lying around we will have to cut back to afford it

[Firefliess]

My kids are teens (boy girl) and share quite happily one night a week at their dad's. He got a partition thing that stops them being bothered by each other having the light on. So I don't think it's essential to move ever if you really don't want to. The age when mine got on least well was when they were around 9 and 13. Teens do need a bit more space. But you're years off that. They may well like sharing for several years yet.

They will start to use their bedroom more in the day soon though, as they start playing further away from parents. So it'll be used half of each weekend. And I'm guessing you maybe have them for some longer periods in the holidays?