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Step-parenting

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What do I do?

28 replies

Neisha98 · 12/09/2019 22:17

I've got a feeling that my boyfriend's daughter with his ex, isn't his. The daughter will be 5 in December, and doesn't look like him at all. We recently had our own daughter, and looking at her you know she's his. But the 5 year old, it's difficult. His ex admitted to cheating, and that led to them splitting. But there's so much more. The ex got her mum to break into my boyfriend's house, as he had their daughter, and the exes mum took the daughter away and called the police on my boyfriend. The police noted defensive wounds on my boyfriend and dropped everything. By the time he was released, his ex and daughter had moved to the other side of the country.

A few weeks ago we went to their flat, as my boyfriend wanted to see his daughter. And their flat is a mess. Dirty laundry everywhere. The daughters clothes never looked clean. The food the daughter was given was either over done or under done, it was literally thrown in the oven. We also saw a big scar on the daughters arm. The ex and her new boyfriend bring in a motorbike, and the daughter leaned on it just after it was turned off, burning her arm. They have a parking space, so why the bike was inside is beyond me. And the fact the ex let her daughter near the bike, is also beyond me. This isn't the first incident in which the daughter was burned.
The ex burned the daughter with boiling water by letting the daughter cook dinner with her. Preparing dinner is fine, as long as you keep the child away from hot and sharp things. But it just looks like the ex can't be bothered to be a proper mother. She keeps demanding my boyfriend get a better job, our guess is so she gets more money.

What do we do? What are your thoughts? I need help, as does my boyfriend.
Note, we do pay child maintenance. It's by direct pay.

OP posts:
Chucklecheeks1 · 13/09/2019 12:34

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OmniversalsTapdancingTadpole · 13/09/2019 13:37

Oops i ment to say op that it may be best if you took a step back and let your dp sort things out. You will just get hurt in the cross fire.

SandyY2K · 14/09/2019 21:02

Easy way to determine if he's the dad, is to do a DNA test. It's very easy.

The difficulty is he barely sees the child, so it might be a while before he can do the test.

He doesn't need to tell his Ex... he just needs the cash to do it.

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