Hey guys I am hoping there are some stepmums out there who can help me!
This morning I have had a huge argument with my bf about his daughter. Condensing it slightly, he is going to go and pick her up after school tomorrow (we don’t live close to her school and he doesn’t drive) it takes about an hour and a half and he has to leave work early and then go to work late the next morning – he is a self employed brick layer and there is a chance that if he does this he will lose his current job. I also don’t agree with her staying because she goes to bed so late on the Tuesday and he has to get her up at 5:30amm_ to get her to the breakfast club and at 5 years old I just think it isn’t fair and she will be exhausted but I don’t say anything.
I didn’t say anything, he kept going on and on and eventually I said I was concerned he was going to lose his job. I am pregnant and we are trying to saving for a house so if he loses his job we will really be in a serious situation (we don’t have any savings between us either). He just went off – swearing at me, saying I didn’t want him to see his child, saying that I hate her, I am f*d in the head, I am trying to stop him seeing her and some really nasty things. He said he was going to move out and rent a room somewhere and asked for his money back which we had in savings (I gave him the money back).
There was an incident a month ago where he really hurt me and excluded me from a decision (he decided to take Monday off work to spend time with his daughter – last minute on the Sunday and text his boss who wasn’t happy). After this I explained to him that I clearly don’t have a say in what happens so moving forward I am not longer going to get involved. Prior to this I was bending over backwards doing the school pick up and drop off so he would see her and not lose his job and I would go into work late. I haven’t said that I wouldn’t do the pick up or drop off but I am not going to offer as he never appreciated what I did and I am hoping that if he has to ask he will start appreciating what I am doing. I would also pay all the fares etc to go and get her as he had no money. I also suggested we set up a savings account for her and put a little in each week so in the future we can treat her to nice birthdays and Christmas.
I just don’t know what to do, I can’t live like this and it just seems whatever I do I always am the wicked step mum! Has any one else lived through this or have any advice? Anything would be so helpful right now I just feel so lost!
Thanks for the help in advance xxx